Dear Angry Gamer

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:22 am

I was already at work at five this morning. Not pounding weights, but cracking skulls before you began to rouse your sleepy little head from your fluffy little pillow, all cuddled in your downy comforter. In fact, I dream of the day I'll have some coozie little job that can wait until 7am before I have to be there. Hell, I'd kill to have that nifty little break between jobs that you have. When you are reporting to your 2nd job, I'm still pounding the pavement without having had enough free time to even think about sitting down long enough to scarf down a sandwich. I got home around 7:30PM.

Anyway, what's this about Dorritos and a Dr. Pepper? Thats kid stuff there Angry Troll Dude. When I got home I just wanted some bourbon and a nice smooth-burning Marlboro Red. As I sit down to write this I'm enjoying that glass of bourbon right now, didn't have to worry about anyone else drinking my stuff. Jack my whiskey and there's consequences; that's how I roll. In fact, I found a new carton of Marlboros sitting on my desk when I came through the door. That's because I'm the king baby. Nobody takes my shit, they bring me offerings.

And what is this about you not drinking coffee? Do you have even have a pair? I leave extra grounds in my coffee in the morning, a little chunky coffee is what we men call breakfast.

You're getting soft on us Gamer. I don't open my Crusader to your article first in order to read this sort of sissy talk. Butch up.

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:27 am

Oh yeah.

Got my crusader #14 today.

Kick ass.

James M. Ward · Post by **James M. Ward** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:44 am

Vastly Amusing Dwarf!

Unfortunately for my good friend the Troll Lord, he has sold his literary soul to his Managing Editor.

The great deity Managing Editor demands that the Crusader magazine begins selling to as many consumers as possible. For that to happen an even greater goddess takes a hand.

Imagine if you will someone even more powerful than the Managing Editor. Yes, that's right I'm talking about the "Angry Mother." Maybe you have heard about her. In the ancient and golden days of TSR when the company was great and owned all it surveyed (figuratively speaking). The "Angry Mother" deity ruled there. Her rule was cold and powerful and TSR writers all bowed down and didn't do anything that would make the "Angry Mother" mad. Imagine what would happen when a 12 year old consumer is reading his favorite magazine and the "Angry Mother" goddess read over her child's shoulder that gamers should all smoke and drink strong drink. The goddess and her shouting could be heard not only where you are, but where we are.

Some of you brave dwarves might not think this rule worthy but it's difficult to argue with $40,000,000 a year.

It's very possible that Troll Lord will kick the Managing Editor and his goddess out on his and her ear, but for right now he's willing to try this path. Let's wait and see how it works.

The Managing Editor

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:09 pm

Hahah!

Yep, even dwarves respect the might of the Angry Mother. Don't even get me started on Angry Dwarven Mothers. Ouch.

Another bang up issue James. Even with Angry Gamer "going soft" on us I have to say the column rocks. There's a reason I read it first.

Gonna kick back and finish reading the Crusaderly goodness that is issue #14 today. Looks to be some very good bits in this one.

Go0gleplex · Post by **Go0gleplex** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:50 pm

The Three Laws to a Good and Happy Life;

1) Always do what's right.

2) Don't be afraid to follow your dreams.

3) Never...EVER...mess with the Mommy!
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gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 7:17 pm

I have a weapon thats more devastating than the generic angry mom. That would be my mom, who doesn't put up with a lot of busy body conservative nonsense.
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Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 7:48 pm

DangerDwarf wrote:
And what is this about you not drinking coffee? Do you have even have a pair? I leave extra grounds in my coffee in the morning, a little chunky coffee is what we men call breakfast.

Coffee? I drink a nice tall glass of diesel first thing in the morning. That's after I eat my breakfast of broken glass and nails and top it all off with hand rolled filterless cigs. That's what we men call breakfast.
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cinderblock · Post by **cinderblock** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:50 pm

I like eggs.

gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:03 pm

For those who like to 'yolk' their strength in the mornings...

yuk yuk yuk

I'm here all week. Try the veal!
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cinderblock · Post by **cinderblock** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 2:31 am

I'm just trying to "egg" you on Gideon.

cleaverthepit · Post by **cleaverthepit** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:13 pm

i think the angry gamer would like to see you at his 'party' for steve LOL

i'll ask him to come over and read this thread.

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:38 pm

All I wanted was a Pepsi! Just one Pepsi!

cleaverthepit · Post by **cleaverthepit** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:39 pm

Here was his responce

"Davis

Why do you ask me to visit the boards? You know I get up before I go to bed, work 27 hours a day, lift more than I can carry and eat my own appendages for lunch. Leave me to my stewing.

sincerely and angrily yours

the angry gamer"

that boy

jeff · Post by **jeff** » Sat Jan 17, 2009 7:27 pm

If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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serleran · Post by **serleran** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 6:54 am

In the words of Adam Sandler... "do it for momma."
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