Troll Lord Games

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:19 am**

Other than here, I'm don't often post on forums even though I lurk at numerous forums for various games.

No matter the gaming forum however, I've observed that numerous RPG-Forum archetypes have stuck out to me. Here's a few off hand...
Leeches: Originally I was going to be a bit more crass in my naming of these guys (it involves an oral edifice and a reproductive organ), but I decided to be a bit more nice. These guys make me particularly nauseous. You know the ones I'm talking about, they are fanboys of the authors and/or mods of the forums and alway echo the opinion of their devoted icon. They also flock to the attack if you ever express a viewpoint challenging their idol or post a criticism of their idol's work. They also ingratiate themselves without any sense of pride towards their idols, proclaiming them geniuses and claiming themselves not worthy to be in the presence of such greatness. Some sites are overrun with these dicksuckers. Oops, I said the original name. Forever Firsts: These ones are humorous to me. Regardless of the game, regardless of how many editions of that game come out, they always vehemently express that the 1st edition is the best. Not only of their favorite game system, but of EVERY game system they own. The first is the best. It has to be the best. It's number 1 right? The 1st edition could be scribblings of a mad man who wiped his butt with the pages, but you know what? It was pure ground breaking genius to wipe his ass with the pages. You don't see that sort of originality any more.
Armchair Quarterbacks: These are the guys that are constantly posting advice, rules clarifications and better telling you how to handle issues in your game. He'll point out problems with your house rules, criticize your new class as unbalanced, heck he's even kind enough to tell you how to make your new magic item better (and you better listen too, he's know what hes talking about! ). But you find out later he's never actually played a single session of the game. He has read the rules and liked them though.

I know there's more out there that others notice. What Forum-goer archetypes do you see?

(Yes, right now I'm being The Spammer. A forum goer who posts several new threads that while vaguely game related actually have little actual value other than a time killer).

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:30 am**

Oh hell dude.. ya missed the big one I've been dealing with for years.
The One True Way soothsayer: Everything has to adhere to some abstract pure vision that not even they can articulate. They come up with wild theories as to what the intent, ideal, and vision of the creators of whatever game they cherish happens to be. Often despite reality checks to the contrary. Everything has to match the nebulous 'purity' of this given ideal, era, mindset and what not even when the original authors have no clue as to what they are on about, and even ofttimes snickering up their sleeves at these erstwhile 'purists'.

Oh yes, and my personal favorite, since I fit it so well.
The Satirist's: This is a person who's taken it upon themselves to deflate the sails of those who take a hobby, any hobby, too seriously. Their creed. GET A LIFE!

_________________
"We'll go out through the kitchen!" Tanis Half-Elven

Peter Bradley

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:17 pm**

Battle.net Vets

U c4nt reed wat th3y r tie p1ng 83cause u r teh suk! Pwnzr 2 ur face! LoLololol!!!!11111Roflcopter /uberz
_________________
The Rock says ...

Know your roll!

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:34 pm**

Tip-toers: the ones you know have a solid opinion formed but don't want to seem pushy when telling it, making most of their posts start and/or stop with a laughing face and/or lol as well as many "...but what do I know, I'm just a..."

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:57 pm**

Great thread!
Never Starters

These fine friendly folk will add onto a thread with a nice comment or anecdote, but never start a thread themselves.
Gushers

These syrupy sorts explode with glee when they see good news posted on the boards.
Stoic Cynic

Never show emotion. Ever.
Lurkers

Never post. C'mon, we wanna hear from you!
...but what do I know, I'm just a dork.
_________________
AD&D, Amish Dungeons & Dragons.

"Galstaff, ye are in a cornfield, when a moustachioed man approaches. What say ye?"

"I shun him."

-----

"Knowledge, logic, reason, and common sense serve better than a dozen rule books."

-- E. Gary Gygax

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:59 pm**

gideon_thorne wrote:
Oh hell dude.. ya missed the big one I've been dealing with for years.
The One True Way soothsayer: Everything has to adhere to some abstract pure vision that not even they can articulate. They come up with wild theories as to what the intent, ideal, and vision of the creators of whatever game they cherish happens to be. Often despite reality checks to the contrary. Everything has to match the nebulous 'purity' of this given ideal, era, mindset and what not even when the original authors have no clue as to what they are on about, and even ofttimes snickering up their sleeves at these erstwhile 'purists'.

You too? For years I dealt with these nutjobs. Hell, for years I masqueraded as one simply because that was where the discussion seemed to be. Fortunately, I have little tolerance for such extremists these days.

Here's one of my own:
The Historian: Always attempts to answer questions about why things are the way they are by referring back to older editions of a game and highlighting the differences and similarities between different versions of a given rule. The Historian then speaks about what he believes was the game creator's intent, based upon the noted changes in the rules. While this last part treads somewhat close to the territory of the One True Way Soothsayer, the Historian doesn't care which edition is best, and isn't concerned with game purity. What he cares about is how a given rule developed into its current form.
_________________
NOTE TO ALL: If you don't like something I've said, PM me and tell me to my face, then give me a chance to set things right before you call a moderator.
My small homage to E.G.G.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:13 pm**

The Maliki posts in every thread, usually with a "+1" or an emoticon, to increase post count for whatever reason. Has interesting things to say, when they are said, but certainly leaves a taste of the previous name... post-whore.

Trolls post only to instigate argument and bickering. They enjoy the "chaos" created by their stupidity, seemingly unable to exist without being an ass.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:59 pm**

Middle of the roaders: The ones that always seem to agree with both sides of anything, or always undecided, and waiting what everyone else thinks, in order to fit in better.

Just like I did on the Blasphomy 4e thread! (I secretly already hate it)

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:16 pm**

First-Liners: These folks can't be bothered with reading more than the first line of any post. They receive all the information they need from the first line and will launch an attack, the whole time failing to recognize that they are actually in agreement with the original poster or have completely missed the point.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:17 pm**

DangerDwarf wrote:
First-Liners: These folks can't be bothered with reading more than the first line of any post. They receive all the information they need from the first line and will launch an attack, the whole time failing to recognize that they are actually in agreement with the original poster or have completely missed the point.

Ha!, I've done this more than I like to admit.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:29 pm**

The Saboteur: The Saboteur has never met a thread that couldn't use a 10 - 100,000 post derailment.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:30 pm**

The Mechanic: You've posted on the same board with him for years. He's got a post count in the thousands. You still know absolutely nothing about the guy though as all of his posts are explicitly gaming mechanics related. Good stuff a lot of the times too but he never minces words or even posts a "hope you enjoy". He's to involved in tinkering with the game to waste his time socializing on a board of folks that he doesn't really know.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:52 pm**

The Behemoth: This person's post count is in the bajillions and seems to be king of the forums. Many threads are made in reference to his "expertise" and "insight". He is apparently independently wealthy and stubbornly single as he is "present" on the boards virtually around the clock. His post count actually increases during social hours. Often, he causes post count-jealousy in others and sometimes anger in those who are wrankled by his belief that more posts means more authority. He has a bedpan and a water cooler within easy reach of his computer. Oftimes, he needs Sally Jesse or Montel to get him out of his house with a wall-saw and a crane.
_________________
AD&D, Amish Dungeons & Dragons.

"Galstaff, ye are in a cornfield, when a moustachioed man approaches. What say ye?"

"I shun him."

-----

"Knowledge, logic, reason, and common sense serve better than a dozen rule books."

-- E. Gary Gygax

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:54 pm**

Zudrak wrote:
Oftimes, he needs Sally Jesse or Montel to get him out of his house with a wall-saw and a crane.

_________________
"We'll go out through the kitchen!" Tanis Half-Elven

Peter Bradley

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:05 pm**

gideon_thorne wrote:
The One True Way soothsayer: Everything has to adhere to some abstract pure vision that not even they can articulate. They come up with wild theories as to what the intent, ideal, and vision of the creators of whatever game they cherish happens to be. Often despite reality checks to the contrary. Everything has to match the nebulous 'purity' of this given ideal, era, mindset and what not even when the original authors have no clue as to what they are on about, and even ofttimes snickering up their sleeves at these erstwhile 'purists'.

Oh yeah.. been subject to these clowns thru other boards and social environments for years, not to mention family.

Ever read Gor? John Norman is evidently embarassed in certain ways about that..

Here is one of my own..
Clueless Newb-not This guy takes pleasure in constantly asking about 'whats this all about?' Asking folks to explain or defend something that he claims no knowlege about.. then turning around and shredding or flaming their answer, cause "He already knew that!" Lurking around ready to savage someone who posts to help with the original question..

(This is not actually something here, just something I have read on both gaming forums and other forums on the net)

-Porkuslime

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:15 pm**

How about "The Smug Pr-cks" - the trollish little twerps who figure they've got everything sorted out and run around slapping labels on everyone they figure falls into some idealized little categories.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:22 pm**

thedungeondelver wrote:
How about "The Smug Pr-cks" - the trollish little twerps who figure they've got everything sorted out and run around slapping labels on everyone they figure falls into some idealized little categories.

Never heard of 'em.
_________________
AD&D, Amish Dungeons & Dragons.

"Galstaff, ye are in a cornfield, when a moustachioed man approaches. What say ye?"

"I shun him."

-----

"Knowledge, logic, reason, and common sense serve better than a dozen rule books."

-- E. Gary Gygax

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:34 pm**

I just have to throw this one in, as the various types brought up previously have caused a memory fit and brought out a fallen specter:
The Red Quacker (Sociopath)

Back when I first started perusing RPG forums - in mid-late '00 - there was an individual who signed on to Trek-RPG.net who titled himself The Red Quacker. What started off as rather brow-furrowing, questionable rants - the "Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean you're not all out to get me" type thing, which, naturally, had absolutely no possible linkage to whatever thread he happened to post on - quickly descended into outright neurotic frenzies about how people were trying to sabotage him through his personal site and that he was destined to become a martyr for some personal crusade. All because none of us could stand him, of course; and he would be found dead and his suppressed genius recognized only decades (or centuries) too late.

The guy lasted maybe a couple of weeks on Trek-RPG before the moderators tired of his screeds, cut off his account and deleted his posts. I mention this only because I consider myself lucky to have only run into one individual of this type - although there must be scads of them out there - and their presence, unless quickly isolated and excised, can inflict real damage on a community's well-being. Speaks well of moderators (those often-unsung heroes) who can recognize this kind of thing and take steps before it becomes a serious problem.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:44 pm**

This thread is ironic!

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:51 pm**

Breakdaddy wrote:
This thread is ironic!

Isn't it though? Hey. If we can't poke fun at ourselves, we're too serious to game.
_________________
"We'll go out through the kitchen!" Tanis Half-Elven

Peter Bradley

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:54 pm**

Prince of Happiness wrote:
The Saboteur: The Saboteur has never met a thread that couldn't use a 10 - 100,000 post derailment.

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:28 am**

porkuslime wrote:
Ever read Gor? John Norman is evidently embarassed in certain ways about that..

Been there, done that, and would have a T-shirt if one was made. John Norman doesn't understand why people treat his books as sort of a gospel, and also doesn't understand why people would want to turn his world into a role playing environment.

Sound familiar?
_________________
NOTE TO ALL: If you don't like something I've said, PM me and tell me to my face, then give me a chance to set things right before you call a moderator.
My small homage to E.G.G.

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:43 am**

haha funny
The naysayer

Sins of the father DO transfer... whatever happened in the past, whatever wrong, whatever slight, whatever spelling mistake must be used forevermore to prove that the company is F'd and can't release anything good, ever!
the pessimist

everything's always wrong.. bad wrong... why... can't... you... just.... see... it... my... way... which... is... the...only...and...true...right...way!!! sheesh!
post whores

"I agree!" or "yes" is a worthy post, in every post, all the time...
first posters

must reply first to every single post ever made...

Cheers.

J.[/b]

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:49 am**

jman5000 wrote:
haha funny
The naysayer

Sins of the father DO transfer... whatever happened in the past, whatever wrong, whatever slight, whatever spelling mistake must be used forevermore to prove that the company is F'd and can't release anything good, ever!
the pessimist

everything's always wrong.. bad wrong... why... can't... you... just.... see... it... my... way... which... is... the...only...and...true...right...way!!! sheesh!
post whores

"I agree!" or "yes" is a worthy post, in every post, all the time...
first posters

must reply first to every single post ever made...

Cheers.

J.

Frist posters

Either:

a) Posters who, in their rush to post first misspell the word "first", or

b) The Senator

_________________
AD&D, Amish Dungeons & Dragons.

"Galstaff, ye are in a cornfield, when a moustachioed man approaches. What say ye?"

"I shun him."

-----

"Knowledge, logic, reason, and common sense serve better than a dozen rule books."

-- E. Gary Gygax

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:13 am**

You forgot
Necromancers

Those who dig deep into the graveyard of ancient and long-forgotten posts, desperately searching for a likely corpse to exhume, then use their dark and evil powers to raise the dead topic into a semblance of life again.

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:53 am**

Confrontationalist

Always looking for a fight. They lurk and only post when they can be confrontational. Their posts are legitimate though. They are a cousin to the Troll poster.
Socialites

Love posts where they can be conversational. Always respond to posts of personal nature, especially ones where they can be sympathetic.
Egoists

Only post when they can be seen as the experts and will seemingly disappear if they are publicly proven wrong on something, then reappear when the postings have been forgotten.
Shouters

ALWAYS POST IN ALL CAPS.
dropouts

always post in small letters and dont care to use appropriate punctuation aer bad spelers and dont seem to notice posts where other posters are annoyed with their way of writing its not their fault blame the school system

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:58 am**

Dristram wrote:
dropouts

always post in small letters and dont care to use appropriate punctuation aer bad spelers and dont seem to notice posts where other posters are annoyed with their way of writing its not their fault blame the school system

And very similar to the dropout are The Lazy. They actually use punctuation and their spelling and grammar isn't that bad. They are just too lazy to hit the shift key whenever they start a new sentence. Everything is lower case.

Troll Lord Games

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