I'm currently running games for two different groups. My smaller group are the ones playing BECM D&D. Its just my wife and a guy, a side game for fun.
The other group has 5 players, 4 of which have never gamed with me prior to our first session together last month. This is the group that was playing through the Pathfinder with me using C&C.
I want to strangle them.
Our first session was pretty good. The gaming was pretty fun, my only real complaint was their lack of role-playing. Very, very little actual RP'ing. No big deal, it was our first session, they probably weren't too sure of me yet, I know I was still unsure of them. The only other complaint about the first session was that they seemed easily distracted from actual game play. *shrug* Ok, we'll move on.
Second session. I again grew irritated at the sheer amount of distractions one of the players was causing. Constantly, and lengthily.
Had another session tonight. I actually ended it early due to the large number of extremely irritating distractions that the same, single player brought.
This player is the wife of one of the others. I don't think she's really interested in playing but wont let the husband go out without her. I talked to him privately about it and he said she insists on coming. The other two players are friends of the married couple and without the married couple, they'll likely not show up either.
So, I'm seriously considering scrapping this group altogether. She is FAR to big of a distraction during game play, detracting from an otherwise good game. Besides, I'm not into running a game that irritates the hell out of me because a group cant stay focused.
I'm thinking I'll cut the larger group loose and work on building my smaller group up.
Meh.
Frustrated
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DangerDwarf
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Sorry to hear it my friend...
Yeah, sometimes the dynamics just aren't right and you end up not really having a "group," so its better to let things go.
From what you describe this group might be better with other types of games or get-togethers rather than RPGing.
_________________
John "Sir Seskis" Wright
Ilshara: Lands of Exile:
http://johnwright281.tripod.com/
High Squire of the C&C Society
www.cncsociety.org
Yeah, sometimes the dynamics just aren't right and you end up not really having a "group," so its better to let things go.
From what you describe this group might be better with other types of games or get-togethers rather than RPGing.
_________________
John "Sir Seskis" Wright
Ilshara: Lands of Exile:
http://johnwright281.tripod.com/
High Squire of the C&C Society
www.cncsociety.org
Ask the husband if you can confront her. If he is cool with it, then do. If he isn't than let them know she has to go, and if that means they all go, your not happy about it, but so be it.
Maybe they'll be smart enough to "peer group" her into behaving. Probably not though. Must people hate being confrontational.
_________________
The Ruby Lord, Earl of the Society
Next Con I am attending: http://www.neoncon.com/
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Maybe they'll be smart enough to "peer group" her into behaving. Probably not though. Must people hate being confrontational.
_________________
The Ruby Lord, Earl of the Society
Next Con I am attending: http://www.neoncon.com/
My House Rules: http://www.freeyabb.com/phpbb/viewtopic ... llordgames
Since its 20,000 I suggest "Captain Nemo" as his title. Beyond the obvious connection, he is one who sails on his own terms and ignores those he doesn't agree with...confident in his journey and goals.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Switch the group from C&C to Poker. That's what they seem to really want anyways.
C&C/D&D-related writings, Cortex Classic material, and other scraps: https://sites.google.com/site/x17rpgstuff/home
Class-less D&D: https://github.com/ssfsx17/skill20
Class-less D&D: https://github.com/ssfsx17/skill20
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baran_i_kanu
- Ungern
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When I used to game-master, any time the players got "distracted" and weren't paying proper attention to the game, I'd just casually start dropping dice behind my screen, and consulting my custom "Random Bad Shit Suddenly Happens" chart. Then I'd count to ten and if they were still not paying attention, then I'd roll the dice again; so if they kept it up long enough, eventually some random Bad Shit would suddenly happen.
It usually only took two or three rolls and only ONE successful roll before my players learned to pay attention.
It usually only took two or three rolls and only ONE successful roll before my players learned to pay attention.
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Birthright
- Hlobane Orc
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Who says it needs to be a confrontation?
Just ask her husband if its ok to discuss the distractions with her. If he doesn't mind, just speak to her in a non-confrontational way and explain that you are used to running a more focused game and ask her if she would mind trying to stay a bit more focused on the game.
Just ask her husband if its ok to discuss the distractions with her. If he doesn't mind, just speak to her in a non-confrontational way and explain that you are used to running a more focused game and ask her if she would mind trying to stay a bit more focused on the game.
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DangerDwarf
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A bit of advice from someone who's been there MANY times over the past 3 years... more than 35 players and 5 campaigns!
- I can tell you that unless the wives/husbands are hard core gamers capable of focusing on the game, having couples in any game is a bad idea. Arguements or day to day events will inevitably make their way into the game. It's not a pretty site ! TRUST ME!
- Cut your losses when you notice potential problems. A good rule of thumb I use now is if after 2 sessions things don't improve - I end it. I also don't plan too much into the future campaign until about the 4th session when I know if this goup will last. Saves alot of frustraion over prep time lost. Either ask one or two players to leave, or scrap the whole group. Delaying your decision means less time spent on what really deserves your attention and less time developing or finding other new players.
I'm a bit jaded I suppose - given my track record in recent years. In your case it's clear cut to me. I would just tell them you aren't enjoying the sessions as much as you would like and therefore are ending the game. No explanation needed unless they ask.
I just kicked out a good friend from my group due to his inability to play as part of a group. The other 3 players were fed up and if I hadn't cut my losses, I would have potentially lost 3 instead of 1 player. I've worked far too hard and gone through too many people to loose 3 GREAT gamers all because of one person.
It's difficult but life is too precious to waste on people you can't deal with!
good luck.
Jynx
- I can tell you that unless the wives/husbands are hard core gamers capable of focusing on the game, having couples in any game is a bad idea. Arguements or day to day events will inevitably make their way into the game. It's not a pretty site ! TRUST ME!
- Cut your losses when you notice potential problems. A good rule of thumb I use now is if after 2 sessions things don't improve - I end it. I also don't plan too much into the future campaign until about the 4th session when I know if this goup will last. Saves alot of frustraion over prep time lost. Either ask one or two players to leave, or scrap the whole group. Delaying your decision means less time spent on what really deserves your attention and less time developing or finding other new players.
I'm a bit jaded I suppose - given my track record in recent years. In your case it's clear cut to me. I would just tell them you aren't enjoying the sessions as much as you would like and therefore are ending the game. No explanation needed unless they ask.
I just kicked out a good friend from my group due to his inability to play as part of a group. The other 3 players were fed up and if I hadn't cut my losses, I would have potentially lost 3 instead of 1 player. I've worked far too hard and gone through too many people to loose 3 GREAT gamers all because of one person.
It's difficult but life is too precious to waste on people you can't deal with!
good luck.
Jynx
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SavageRobby
- Hlobane Orc
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I think thats a good course. Better to try to address the situation directly (with her), at least, before scrapping it altogether.
Have the other players indicated to you if they're unhappy with the distractions, too? Sometimes knowing that you're not alone in this can help, especially if/when you do talk to the offending player.
Have the other players indicated to you if they're unhappy with the distractions, too? Sometimes knowing that you're not alone in this can help, especially if/when you do talk to the offending player.
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StealthSuitStanley
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Another option... Make a play session that focuses on her character. FORCE her to pay attention because everything happening revolves around her character.
If that doesn't work... invite the players you want to keep to another game and be sure that they know that she won't be invited.
_________________
later
SSS
----------------------------
"Size matters not."
-Yoda, Jedi Master
If that doesn't work... invite the players you want to keep to another game and be sure that they know that she won't be invited.
_________________
later
SSS
----------------------------
"Size matters not."
-Yoda, Jedi Master
CK of the Planewalker's Society
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DangerDwarf
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Breakdaddy
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DangerDwarf
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Well. Talked to the husband today. He said that is generally what she does in every game they have joined. Ever. Because of it, the 4 have their own group with another dude where they have learned to accept the distractions.
Yeah. I think I'm done. A shame too, the husband would make a great addition to me smaller group.
Yeah. I think I'm done. A shame too, the husband would make a great addition to me smaller group.
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DangerDwarf
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serleran wrote:
Seems the wife simply enjoys ruining the fun of others, likely because she views roleplaying as "beneath her" yet, is still either codependent, or lacks all trust in her husband, which is why she "must" be there. Either way, I would end any association immediately, but I'm also an ass. Moo.
Yeah, although I think in her twisted sort of way she doesn't see it as beneath her, but she thinks she's supporting her husband's interest in his hobby. She just doesn't realize that she is ruining the fun for him. I asked him why he never says anything to her and he just shrugged.
Last night was even more distracting then usual too. She brought some wine coolers. No biggie. I'm prone to drink beer or whiskey while we game. Difference? She cant hold her alcohol. I don't get drunk while we play, she was waaaaaaaaaaay drunk and obnoxious. So, I called it quits and sent them home.
Tried to talk the husband into joining my other group by himself, but he declined stating he didn't want to hurt his wife's feelings.
Oh well.
Regardless. This group is done as far as I'm concerned.
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Breakdaddy
- Greater Lore Drake
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serleran wrote:
Seems the wife simply enjoys ruining the fun of others, likely because she views roleplaying as "beneath her" yet, is still either codependent, or lacks all trust in her husband, which is why she "must" be there. Either way, I would end any association immediately, but I'm also an ass. Moo.
Jackasses bray, they don't moo, son.
"If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you."
-Genghis Khan
-Genghis Khan
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gideon_thorne
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DangerDwarf wrote:
Regardless. This group is done as far as I'm concerned.
*smiles* Tell em, while they are all in a group, precisely why. That'll either shape em up, or get rid of dead wood you didn't need anyhow.
_________________
"We'll go out through the kitchen!" Tanis Half-Elven
Peter Bradley
"The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!' And I'll look down, and whisper 'No.' " ~Rorschach
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CharlieRock
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Some of my favorite gaming moments come from three-person teams. My brother, my buddy, and me. We blew each other up from D&D to Paranoia and every genre in between. My team now is five people but it got that way from two other people who ,up to then only played video games ,seen the three of us just having too much fun. And if it doesn't happen (getting a larger team) it was still fun.
I had to cut my team in half before and wreaked a campaign. But my dice never ran out of numbers.
_________________
The Rock says ...
Know your roll!
I had to cut my team in half before and wreaked a campaign. But my dice never ran out of numbers.
_________________
The Rock says ...
Know your roll!
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CharlieRock
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gideon_thorne wrote:
*smiles* Tell em, while they are all in a group, precisely why. That'll either shape em up, or get rid of dead wood you didn't need anyhow.
And pull no punches (not that you need to be cruel, but sugar-coating just attracts flies).
_________________
The Rock says ...
Know your roll!
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DangerDwarf
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CharlieRock
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couple of questions.
1 does your wife get along with her. if she does, then the four of you try to work something out.
2. does she pay attention? mybe she's bored with the type of game. By wife is an incredible rpg but she only likes vampire. Personally i would prefer just to stab everyone in the heart as to play vampire.
3. is she that insecure that she has to be the center of attention? Maybe you could see if she wanted to gm a few sessions. I had a rules lawyer almost ruin a group until i gave him the reins and he ran an adventure. we had 6 pcs and after dealing with that for a month, he gladly let me run things again and stopped with the lawyering.
I'll see what you say from there and we'll start another session. that'll be 50 bucks
1 does your wife get along with her. if she does, then the four of you try to work something out.
2. does she pay attention? mybe she's bored with the type of game. By wife is an incredible rpg but she only likes vampire. Personally i would prefer just to stab everyone in the heart as to play vampire.
3. is she that insecure that she has to be the center of attention? Maybe you could see if she wanted to gm a few sessions. I had a rules lawyer almost ruin a group until i gave him the reins and he ran an adventure. we had 6 pcs and after dealing with that for a month, he gladly let me run things again and stopped with the lawyering.
I'll see what you say from there and we'll start another session. that'll be 50 bucks
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DangerDwarf
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mordrene wrote:
1 does your wife get along with her. if she does, then the four of you try to work something out.
She drives my wife crazy too.
mordrene wrote:
2. does she pay attention? mybe she's bored with the type of game.
I don't think its a matter of her being bored with the type of game, i think she's not really into RPG's in the first place. 1st it was the C&C rules, her excuse was she wasn't used to them, she was far more comfortable with 2nd Edition AD&D. Ok, so we make the change. Well, turns out she doesn't really know them rules either, her husband had to keep her informed rules-wise on everything. I honestly believe she's a wife who plays only because she thinks she's supporting her husband in his hobby, not because she enjoys the game.[/quote]
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DangerDwarf
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mordrene wrote:
does she have any friends besides fer husband? sounds like no. Do they have kids?
Man i feel sorry for your buddy.
The group came as a quartet, husband, wife and two friends. I think that comprises her circle of friends.
Nope, no kids. Which led to a discussion between her and my wife which really left my wife irritated with her.
Yeah, this group was a bad get together all around.
DangerDwarf wrote:
The group came as a quartet, husband, wife and two friends. I think that comprises her circle of friends.
Nope, no kids. Which led to a discussion between her and my wife which really left my wife irritated with her.
Yeah, this group was a bad get together all around.
Thats too bad. I have had this happen to me a couple of times over the decades, always dissappointing. Especially when your pretty sure you could really get along with a couple of them.
_________________
The Ruby Lord, Earl of the Society
Next Con I am attending: http://www.neoncon.com/
My House Rules: http://www.freeyabb.com/phpbb/viewtopic ... llordgames
Since its 20,000 I suggest "Captain Nemo" as his title. Beyond the obvious connection, he is one who sails on his own terms and ignores those he doesn't agree with...confident in his journey and goals.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.