I am the best f**k dwarf there ever has been!

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Sun May 04, 2008 12:49 am

And I thought the 4e threads were getting bad...
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Tue May 06, 2008 9:17 pm

My battle axe is my weapon of war: for with it I tear in pieces the foot soldier; and with it I will tear in pieces the horse and his rider; and with it I will tear in pieces the chariot and his rider; and with it I will tear in pieces the nations and tribes of mine enemies and with it will I destroy fiefdoms and kingdoms of mine enemies.

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Wed May 07, 2008 12:06 am

Bah! Axes? Real dorfs are barroom heroes. Dwarven Hero

A slightly tweaked version of Barroom Heroes by DkM
Face down in the gutter won't admit defeat though his clothes are soiled and black,

He's a stout, strong dwarf with a childs mind, don't you take his booze away!

He's been at it for years drinking spirits and beer he's a hero to most he meets,

But inside he cries black swollen eyes, this dwarf he sheds no tears!

Now his wife and kids sing a different tune as they worry about their daddy dying,

But this arrogant fool breaks every rule it'll be nothing but pride that kills him.

Could he listen no he won't that's all she wrote he'll be dead before the daylight shines,

But the thoughts and prayers of a million strong might keep this fool from dying.

He's a legend in the bar with every scar fights a thousand bigger men,

But now he fights and looses got all the bruises will someone please step in?

Cause this dwarven fools got a great big heart he keeps climbing back in to the ring

In the low down circles where he holds his court this man he once was king.

Could he listen no he won't that's all she wrote he'll be dead before the daylight shines,

But the thoughts and prayers of a million strong might keep this fool from dying.

Could he listen no he won't that's all she wrote he'll be dead before the daylight shines,

But the thoughts and prayers of a million strong might keep this fool from dying.

He's a legend in the bar with every scar fights a thousand bigger men,

But now he fights and looses got all the bruises will someone please step in?

Cause this dwarven fools got a great big heart he keeps climbing back in to the ring

In the low down circles where he holds his court this man he once was king.

Could he listen no he won't that's all she wrote he'll be dead before the daylight shines,

But the thoughts and prayers of a million strong might keep this fool from dying.

Could he listen no he won't that's all she wrote he'll be dead before the daylight shines,

But the thoughts and prayers of a million strong might keep this fool from dying.

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Wed May 07, 2008 7:23 am

Dorien wrote:
My Tutu is my weapon of war: for with it I dance in places of the foot soldier; and with it I will [CENSORED] the horse and his rider; and with it I will ride on the back of the motorcycle; and with it I will smell daisies and hug elves and with it will I will sing, dance and be a pirate...

Fixed.
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed May 07, 2008 12:59 pm

Danger Dwarf is 100% correct!!!

And I believe that the very first line of my very first post is pretty straight forward and to the point!

I LIKE BEER!

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Thu May 08, 2008 7:56 am

Dorien wrote:
Danger Dwarf is 100% correct!!!

Never say that again.
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu May 08, 2008 12:41 pm

Just ask any Dwarf, and you'll get confirmation that all Dwarves are always 100% correct!

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Fri May 09, 2008 8:04 am

This is why I prefer the catacombs...
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:08 am

I'm still the BEST axe wielding beer chuggin' Drwarf there ever has or ever will be!

serleran · Post by **serleran** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:30 am

Hello Klingon -- there are certain similarities, I guess. I did not know Warf (and yes I am aware that it should be Worf) had become a Dr. Maybe it is an honorary title.

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:38 pm

Dorien wrote:
I'm still the BEST axe wielding beer chuggin' Drwarf there ever has or ever will be!

Bah! I'm the dwarf.

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 5:20 pm

I'm still the BEST axe wielding beer chuggin' Drwarf there ever has or ever will be!

gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 5:26 pm

Dorien wrote:
I'm still the BEST axe wielding beer chuggin' Drwarf there ever has or ever will be!

*flicks edges of axe* Look, its dull.
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 5:35 pm

The beer mug is empty too!

gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 5:58 pm

Dorien wrote:
The beer mug is empty too!

Shouldn't mix so much water with it then. It evaporates.
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 6:08 pm

You may have hit on an idea - freeze dried beer, just add water, I can carry a six pack where ever I go!

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:25 am

I'm sure glad everyone shut the he11 up and stoped disputing the fact that I'm the best Phucking Dwarf there ever has been or ever will be!

Tadhg · Post by **Tadhg** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:33 am

Well I haven't posted cause your title seems to suggest that you are a dwarf that likes to get f***ked rather than the best f'ing dwarf that has ever been.

That's OK. We are very liberal here on these forums and we can accept you, but please don't give any details of your predilections for dwarven perversion!

Have a nice day, weird dwarf perv.
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gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:35 am

Rhuvein wrote:
We are very liberal here

Oooo... bad thing to point out to a Chenault, even a stunted one...
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Tadhg · Post by **Tadhg** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:36 am

gideon_thorne wrote:
Oooo... bad thing to point out to a Chenault, even a stunted one...

OH yeah, I forgot. Is he their dog or a little brother??
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Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:40 am

I was pretty (and still am) drunk at the time I typed that tittyle (is that how you spell tittle?)

And it does not read the way I meant it to!

I never never drink and drive, but I do drink and troll!

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:41 am

OH YEA!

I'm not thier little brother, I'm at least 2 inches taller than either of them (at least when I'm laying down!)

Tadhg · Post by **Tadhg** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:43 am

Whew, good to know . . I think.

Here's a cold beer for ya -

Say, have your ever had hot and runny dog barf vomited on you??

It's really not that bad. Of course, you must like dogs.

Bark, bark!!
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Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:49 am

Dog vomit, puppy piss, dog farts, dog spit/druel (can't spell drunk either), and damn near every kinda dog fluid there is except (Thank GOD) one!

Yup I like dogs

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:52 am

Dorien wrote:
Yup I like dogs

I've heard that about f**k dwarves.

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:59 am

I'm used to starting threads on sites that do not edit what I type, so phucking would not turn out to be f**k

If I weren't so damn (bet that gets edited) lazy I'd start a new thread

but I'd rather open a new ber !

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:59 am

I'm used to starting threads on sites that do not edit what I type, so phucking would not turn out to be f**k

If I weren't so damn (bet that gets edited) lazy I'd start a new thread

but I'd rather open a new ber !

Tadhg · Post by **Tadhg** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:00 am

Well, sorry I brought up the subject of dog barf. My bad.

And sorry to DD. This poor dude is giving dwarves a bad rep for sure.

He must be a gully dwarf from the east side of town ~ sad fellow.

Nevermind, y'all - time to move on!

Are there any elves in the house besides moi??

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Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:06 am

Quote:
And sorry to DD. This poor dude is giving dwarves a bad rep for sure.

DangerDwarf isn't giving Dwarves a bad rep!

DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:10 am

Rhuvein wrote:
Are there any elves in the house besides moi??

Preferably hot, leather clad, spanking elf chicks.

Troll Lord Games

I am the best f**k dwarf there ever has been!

My Axe

Re: My Axe

Dwarves are always 100% Correctg