I am the best f**k dwarf there ever has been!

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:18 am

Ya See!!! DD is not giving dwarves a bad name!

He's clearly pojnting out the perfect kinda elf!

Very similar in fact to the elf on the other tab I have open on IE

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 1:54 pm

Just to be clear about the dog post...

When you have a puppy, it'll pee on ya.

When your dog gets in a fight, it'll bleed on ya.

When your dog is sick and dying, it'll vomit all kinds of stuff on ya.

When you come accross a torn and dying dog in the road, ya get more on you than you want to but you comfort the dog any way you can

Deogolf · Post by **Deogolf** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:10 pm

Rhuvein wrote:
Well, sorry I brought up the subject of dog barf. My bad.

And sorry to DD. This poor dude is giving dwarves a bad rep for sure.

He must be a gully dwarf from the east side of town ~ sad fellow.

Nevermind, y'all - time to move on!

Are there any elves in the house besides moi??

Sorry, no elf here! Just a simple, humble hobbit!! But, I do like the malted beverages too!!
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Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:32 am

I dunno what I am. I know I'm not a daisy eater, but I live in rugged hills. I'd say some dwarven decendant of some sort.
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:35 am

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:40 am

Ya know I think Gimli was the best Farkin dwarf evarr!!!!!!
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:42 am

He was, until he made friends with an Elf

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:42 am

BTY...

Beer

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:44 am

As much As I don't like daisy eaters. I'd still hit Galadriel.
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:50 am

Well ...

DUH! So would I!

But, whats-his-face befriended the bow stroker!

So.......

I'm the best Farking Dwarf Ever!

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:53 am

BTW...

Beer

FASAfan · Post by **FASAfan** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:55 am

Dorien wrote:
I LIKE BEER

I LIKE KILLING

I LIKE BOOBS (ESPECIALLY HUMAN, BUT DWARFS WILL DO IN A PINCH)

I LIKE BATTLE AXES, HAMMERS AND CHAIN MAIL

I LIKE CAVES (FANTASY NOT REAL LIFE MY BROTHERS AND MY FIRST DEAD ROMPER CAN ATTEST TO THAT!)

I'm a MONSTER! GRWAAAAR!!

...

...

serleran · Post by **serleran** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:04 am

Quote:
CHAIN MAIL

Great game.

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:05 am

I also like

Whips

Chains

Clamps

and other restraining devices...

But I think that information belongs on another BB

AGNKim · Post by **AGNKim** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:35 am

While I am apprehensive about resurrecting this thread, I think I may take the mantle of "Best F**king Dwarf" as of Sunday afternoon.

And I think Dorien will agree. Or I'll do to him what I did to that orc standing in the road, craning his neck and acting tough.

(Hint: He's dead now).

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Indigo Rose · Post by **Indigo Rose** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:14 pm

I had no idea that a "dwarf envy" conversation could go on for so long! But I must say Kim, that your son was a pretty kick-ass dwarf himself at the convention this past weekend. Watch it, or he'll steal the mantle from ALL of you...
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:49 pm

khartsfield wrote:
While I am apprehensive about resurrecting this thread, I think I may take the mantle of "Best F**king Dwarf" as of Sunday afternoon.

And I think Dorien will agree. Or I'll do to him what I did to that orc standing in the road, craning his neck and acting tough.

(Hint: He's dead now).

Unfortunately for all the worlds, you did not get to witness Dorien in action, you did get to see a friend of his, Elrohir sneak around a pick off a few goblins, and you witnessed what he does to fallen foes (at least those that manage to strike him).

And while I must admit you are a damn fine Dwarf, I Dorien am still the Best Farking Dwarf the ever has, or ever will be!

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:50 pm

BTW...

Beer

Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Sat Nov 15, 2008 2:44 am

I'm back!

And I'm still the BEST!

Omote · Post by **Omote** » Sat Nov 15, 2008 4:49 am

Thank the gods, the DORF is back!!! Watch your wenches.

-O
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gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Sat Nov 15, 2008 5:02 am

Dwarf? Where? *looks down* Oh.. there. Watch out there little fella, someone in a chariot might think your a speed bump.
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DangerDwarf · Post by **DangerDwarf** » Sat Nov 15, 2008 5:03 am

Bah. He's a pretender to the throne.

A gnome with an inferiority complex. Nothing more.

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Sat Nov 15, 2008 4:34 pm

Gnome's too good. Try Halfling with delusions of granduer!
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serleran · Post by **serleran** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:47 am

Best dwarf -- have you ever noticed that, when said backwards, dwarf has an awfully familiar sound: fraud.
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Heavy_Crossbow · Post by **Heavy_Crossbow** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:56 pm

serleran wrote:
Best dwarf -- have you ever noticed that, when said backwards, dwarf has an awfully familiar sound: fraud.

Lol.

Anyway, to be the best dwarf, which I am, actually, you have to know this song by heart:

(To "Gaston Song" from Beauty and the Beast)

No

One

Drinks like a dwarf

No one stinks like a dwarf

No one washes their beard in the sink like a dwarf

And they're really quite good at de-ca-pi-ta-ting

When you want someone dead

Hire a dwarf!

You know how hard it is to seriously roleplay a dwarf? How hard it is to resist the stereotypes? it is nearly impossible. Especially when you do the gravelly voice and pantomime drinking ale. My friends, when they try to play as dwarves, always end up being lynched/thrown in the stocks/fruited.
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:50 pm

Last time I said I was back I got drunk and fell down a Goblin shaft (down not on), hit my head and got lost for a while, wondered around till I found some Goblins to kill and show me the way out - which was kinda hard since I did it in the order I said and dead Goblins give crappy directions!

Anyway I am back now, and I am the best F'ing Dward there ever was!

Omote · Post by **Omote** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:47 pm

Welcome back Dorien. I hope you slew greenskins by the cartload.

~O
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:08 pm

I did kill 'um by the cartloads, basically I had to stack 'um up so that I could climb back up the shaft to get the h311 out of that place, seein' as how they refused to give up directions after I killed 'um.

Now I'm off to the town of Tiny Pebble for some more fun!

Omote · Post by **Omote** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:42 pm

Tiny Pebble. Nice. You lucky bastage.
~O
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Dorien · Post by **Dorien** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 2:01 am

Cold Beer!

Troll Lord Games

I am the best f**k dwarf there ever has been!

Re: I am the best f**k dwarf there ever has been!

I'm Back - again

Beer