I got jokes.

dutch206 · Post by **dutch206** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 2:13 pm

Get your funny on.
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Please. I have dice that are older than you are.

dutch206 · Post by **dutch206** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 2:13 pm

It was sunday morning, and the preacher was just getting ready to start the sermon. Suddenly, the Devil Himself appearead at the pulpit. People screamed and ran for the exits as fast as they could.

Feeling genuinely proud of himself, Satan looked around and noticed one elderly gentleman still sitting in his pew.

Satan stomped down the aisle, towering over the old man. He calmly asked "Do you know who I am?"

The old man said "Yup. Sure do. You're the Prince of Darkness."

Satan asked "Don't you know that with one word, I can condemn you to an eternity of pain and suffering?"

The old man calmly nodded "Yes, I surely do."

Dubfounded, Satan asked "And you still aren't scared.....why?"

"Because," the man replied, "I've been married to your sister for the last fifty years."
_________________
Please. I have dice that are older than you are.

Aladar · Post by **Aladar** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:36 pm

An old American gentleman arrived for a visit in France. As he walked up the French customs agent, the agent proceeding to scold him for not having his passport out and ready to be checked. The Frenchman asked the old man if he had ever been to France before, to which the man replied "yes I have". The customs agent then stated that since he had been here before, he should be familiar with French customs at the airports and have his paperwork ready. The Frenchman then stated that "since you have been here before you should know better". To which the elder American replied "Back when I was here in '44, I arrived on the beach, and when I did, I coundn't find a frenchman anywhere to show them my passport.
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dutch206 · Post by **dutch206** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:27 pm

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

(Santa knows to stop at three Ho's.)
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Please. I have dice that are older than you are.

jaybird216 · Post by **jaybird216** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:34 pm

dutch206 wrote:
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

(Santa knows to stop at three Ho's.)

I heard he changed his name from Tiger to Cheetah.
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Jason Braun
Art Monkey for Hire
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CKDad · Post by **CKDad** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 4:12 am

What did Michael Jackson have in common with the current Baltimore Orioles?

Like MJ, the Orioles wear gloves on one hand for no apparent reason.
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"I don't wanna be remembered as the guy who died because he underestimated the threat posed by a monkey."

dutch206 · Post by **dutch206** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:39 am

Did you hear about the Chinese couple who recently gave birth to an albino baby?

It proves once and for all that two Wongs can make a white.
_________________
Please. I have dice that are older than you are.

Buttmonkey · Post by **Buttmonkey** » Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:21 am

If Michael Jordan gets athlete's foot, what does Santa Claus get?

Mistle toe.

dutch206 · Post by **dutch206** » Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:49 am

Santa Claus is an overweight cookie addict who plays with elves.....next, on Jerry Springer!
_________________
Please. I have dice that are older than you are.