Bit of a personal rant...

[Treebore]

Mental Illness sucks! Especially when you get put in a rock and a hard place and decide to do the right thing anyways, and then get ostracized by your family for doing it.

Oh well. Looks like I will never be going back to Ohio to visit "family" ever again, but at least I had the strength to do the right thing, rather than to continue to "hide" the truth and put innocent lives of other family members, and people I don't even know, at risk.

I think what bugs me is that my family chose to support the lies of the mentally ill, rather than do right by them and force them to get treatment they have refused to get for over 20 years. Plus ignore the threats towards other family members, including their own wives in two cases. Not to mention co-workers that were on his "Death List" along with the wives. Every last one of them, my mother, my father, and my other brother.

Other than that, my conscience is clear, and strangely enough, I feel free.

So it looks like I am now the "Black Sheep" of the family, but much to my surprise I feel OK with that.

Weird.

So much more than my Grandmother was buried this past week.

I think that is all I need to say, thanks for listening to my strange ramblings.
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[ssfsx17]

You did the right thing - clannishness itself can be a disease sometimes
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[Zudrak]

Pride can be a difficult thing to overcome and sometimes we humans would prefer the easy road to confrontations. Good on ya, Treebore, for doing the right thing.

Prayers for a future reconciliation - or at the very least a sense of peace for you and yours. I say, without really knowing the circumstances, "Well done," for sticking to your guns.
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-----

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[Sir Ironside]

Just cause they are family, doesn't give them a pass at being assholes.

This is what I live by and why I haven't talked to my brother in over a decade.

I don't know what your circumstances are, but as one who lives with a mental illness, I really do not know just how effective 'forcing' someone to go to treatment would work other than committing them against their will. I also know, first hand, just how much of a enigma most mental illnesses are to those who do not have it. (Be, very, very thankful that you don't.)

I am always open to discuss such things, not to just you Treebore but anyone and answer any questions anyone may have. I do the same IRL so it isn't like I'm crossing a line I have never crossed before.

Just from those few lines it sounds like he suffers from schizophrenia, non?
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[Treebore]

Sir Ironside wrote:
Just from those few lines it sounds like he suffers from schizophrenia, non?

I am not sure. This has been "ignored" forever. All I can tell you is that I am confident that he has severe depression issues, is able to convince himself that things were said or happened that did not, that he has pretty much always been suicidal, and that just this past Monday I found out he had a "Kill List" and was told several of the names on it.

I agree getting him to willingly get help would be better, but that has failed for 20 years, and with him now having a "Kill List", being patient was no longer an option. For me anyways, my family was willing to allow others to be at risk, but I obviously am not.

I knew going into this how my family was likely to react, so becoming the black sheep is something I went into knowingly, and is a price I am willing to pay if it keeps my brother from acting. Just unfortunately, at this time, it seems to be something the police would rather blow off until after someone is dead, or at least injured.

So much for "prevention" and "protection of the public".
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[Julian Grimm]

A mental disease is a hard, hard thing to live with and I can testify to how much better life is after figuring out what is wrong and getting help. Sadly, too many would rather ignore the signs of these ailments and sweep them under the rug due to misguided and ancient stigmas about the diseases of the mind.

What gets me the most is that we have proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is a physiological cause for 90% of mental illnesses but society just won't listen or still want to say 'it's all in your head.'

I will be praying for all in this situation and hope for a good outcome.
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[Benoist]

I have an uncle who is mildly challenged. Great memory, great poetic composition, too (he loves to write), and a heart bigger than I could ever describe, but he does have autistic tendencies. Not exactly a mental ailment, of course, but I get where people with various forms of mental diseases or defects come from. And it sucks.

Sending prayers your way.
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[Lurker]

My friend, my prayers go out for you and yours. Fortunately no one in my family has had severe issues (out side of a few that like the bottle a little to much) but a couple of guys in my unit have been pushed to had for too long and cracked. I'll admit even I have been a little closer to that than I like to think. None of us ever asked for help and even if it was brought up by friend/team mates that things weren't good to go, we'd deflect it or rationalize things as being better than they were. Unfortunately no one ever had the courage to do what you did and force them to read the writing on the wall. None of the instances worked out well and it cost us 5 guys (no deaths, but they were forced out due to their actions).

I might joke about having a kill list etc, it comes with what my job is, but someone that actually does have one... That isn't good. It's better to have forced the issue than one day seeing a news report that some of the people are now dead an no one tried to stop it.
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[Treebore]

Well, for some positive news, my one brother and my dad are talking to me again. They still do not support what I did, but at least they are talking.

Yeah, I have been ignoring/avoiding all the talks of suicide, etc... but I knew the kill list was something I dare not ignore.

Its been scary, its been painful, but I am still glad I did it.

As for you, Lurker, I know what you mean. Running "Operation Wolfhound" and placing therapy dogs with PTSD soldiers has made me privy to many stories.
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[dutch206]

I am the caretaker of my brother, who is a paranoid schizophrenic. Treebore, you have my deepest sympathy. Speaking from personal experience, you MUST create a safe mental space for yourself and you loved ones. (Notice I didn't say family.)
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[serleran]

Family matters for one thing: inheritance.
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[Go0gleplex]

Good Luck Tree. Hopefully they'll all get over their state of denial before it becomes critical, rather than needed.
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[Secret Skeleton]

Man, my family is the black sheep of the family. None of them seem to remember things like I do. I can attest that if you ignore your family long enough, they will come crawling to you wanting attention.

[garydee]

Secret Skeleton wrote:
I can attest that if you ignore your family long enough, they will come crawling to you wanting money.

I changed your sentence to what I've experienced in my life.

[nightstorm]

the fact that he had a hit list MADE you legally obligated to do something. The next family memeber that says something you should turn to them and say calmley " yea I just couldnt live with MYself if he kills someone"l
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[Treebore]

nightstorm wrote:
the fact that he had a hit list MADE you legally obligated to do something. The next family memeber that says something you should turn to them and say calmley " yea I just couldnt live with MYself if he kills someone"l

I have pointed that out many times already. Their excuse is they just simply refuse to believe he would NOT have went that far. Honestly, I would like to think so as well. I was the one he told, though. I heard his hate and disgust for these people on his list. I couldn't in good conscience do nothing.
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[Rikitiki]

Just simply reply by hitting them with a dose of reality:

He told you something that was indicative of mental illness, insane thinking, dysfunctional reasoning, however you want to label it.

Like someone who relates wanting to kill themself, that is what the

professionals would call "a cry for help".

You can simply tell your family members that you did what he

wanted you to do, which is the truth. If he did not want to be

"outted" on this, he wouldn't have told anyone.

[Lurker]

As for you, Lurker, I know what you mean. Running "Operation Wolfhound" and placing therapy dogs with PTSD soldiers has made me privy to many stories.

Quote:
Oh yeah, how is that going? By the way thanks for helping out the guys that need it! Its sad that there are guys falling through the cracks and not getting the help they need.

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[Treebore]

Lurker wrote:
Oh yeah, how is that going? By the way thanks for helping out the guys that need it! Its sad that there are guys falling through the cracks and not getting the help they need.

[/quote]

Its going well, we are training our 8th, 9th, and 10th dogs for placement right now, so approaching $300,000.00 in donated dogs. We wish the Veterans would line up faster, but to be honest we are going at a pace we can actually keep up with, so its all good.

To explain the 300K, these dogs, fully trained, when paid for are priced at anywhere from $20,000 to as high as $50,000, depending on what organization/group you go to.

So thanks to people donating the dogs, and so far my wife and I have done all the training, but we have others volunteering time in other parts of the US, and one up in Washington State actually doing training as of last week, we have give these dogs for FREE to 10 Veterans now. Rather than having them have to pay anywhere form 20 to 50 grand for them, which none of them could afford in the first place.

So we have done anywhere from $200,000 to $500,000 of work for our Veterans, for free, now, depending on who's pricing you go by.

We estimate we have about another 200,000 veterans to find and help. So a very long way still to go.
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[rob]

Treebore, don't feel bad about what you have done. My family is just as screwed up as yours is. With the exception of a phone call and having to speak with my one sister twice, I've not talked/phoned anyone of them since last August when the crap hit the fan. I've just decided that if they don't want to contact me, even just to say hello, I don't need/want them in my life, same for my parents. Always felt like an outsider looking in on my family, I decided last August I can live without them all.