Just had to sell my entire gaming collection....

Omote · Post by **Omote** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 5:24 pm

A friendly bit of advice, debt solution companies tend to show up on credit reports as such. Not that this is always a bad thing, but keep this in mind.

........................................Omote

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Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:25 pm

Well, if you have no credit cards I guess your biggest concern is car payments, rent, and utilities. Plus insurance. They should all be willing to work with you. If you lived here in AZ they are required to work with you. At least in Cochise County.

So good luck. Hopefully your future in-laws will be back up on their feet in a month or two.

They are a perfect example of why my wife doesn't want me to get a motorcycle, especially with me being the only non-bed ridden adult in the household. My daughter will soon qualify for her drivers permit. So I won't be the only driver for much longer.

Inkpot · Post by **Inkpot** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:43 pm

UPDATE 1-23-07:

Wow...sorry it's been so long since I updated! Been so busy with, well, EVERYTHING, it just completely slipped my mind!

Things are steadily progressing with Heather's parents. They're both conscious and able to talk/communicate and her mom is actually going home this week!! However, she's going to need some help around the house (enter, "Super Heather!"). Her dad has had several successful surgeries (I don't even ask for details anymore, since it all is waaaaay over my head), and will be moved to the rehabilitation wing sometime this week, as well. We're thinking that the accident has really scarred him psychologically (hell, he had one foot beyond death's door - that's bound to do something to a guy). He's talking about getting rid of his motorcycle and scaling way back on his life. It's sad to see because cycling was a very big part of his life.

So, it looks like things are moving right along over in Florida. I actually got to spend some time with Heather last week when work had me over in Tampa and Fort Myers. God, it was so good to see her again! I'd been fighting the ol' depression goblins and losing up until that point. She was able to stay with me in my hotel for a couple days and we went and saw "The Curse Of The Golden Flower" (which is a gorgeous film with the SUCKIEST ending in film history), and "Arthur And The Invisibles" (Hey, it was a fun movie!).

So, the way things sit right now, Heather says that she'll be in Florida another month at the most. In a wonderful gesture of generosity, her parents are helping us out with bills, etc. so at least we'll be able to keep our noses above water. Annnnnd.....*takes a deep breath*....

I've asked Heather if she would do me the honor of handfasting to me. And lo and behold, that glutton for punishment actually said "YES" (for those of you who don't know, handfasting is an alternative wedding ceremony)! So, when Heather gets back, we'll have some serious planning/preparing to do.
And that's about it. The clouds are breaking, and the sun is starting to peek through at last. Thank you SOOOO much, everyone, for your support and prayers during this dark time. In a very real sense, I don't think I could have made it through without you all. You guys are the best. Seriously.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

Ink
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Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:10 pm

Its great to hear all the positive news.

Congrats on the hand fasting.

Now is that equal to getting married or more a pledge of loyalty, fidelity, and all that?

If not is this going to lead to a "state" recognized marriage?

As for her father, and mother, facing death like that often has people evalutate their lives and change things. They often decide that they didn't value the truly important things and people in their lives nearly well enough and other similiar things.

They also decide that risky behaviours are too darn risky and not worth losing your life over doing. So they quit doing things like riding motorcycles, sky diving, etc... because life itself is too precious to risk on such trivial pleasures.

So basically, its expected for people with his experience to make changes to their lives as they self evaluate it.

I did it 12 years ago. My wife's father did it this past year. My wife is still doing it because her illness wasn't dramatic enough for her to do quick and drastic changes, but as she comes more and more to terms with it she has been slowly changing her priorities.

Not everyone does it. A number of people just go on like they always have. Some even become more recklous.

Nifelhein · Post by **Nifelhein** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:21 pm

We haven't met before but i read through all this thread, and despite the real nasty situation and al i am happy to see you have good friends, who stand by your side, a woman you love and who loves you in return, without you I am certain she would have a much tougher time, and good buddies here too, who gave you good advice, support and do care.

Congratulations on the hand fasting, be strong, stay well.
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gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:16 pm

Treebore wrote:
Its great to hear all the positive news.

Congrats on the hand fasting.

Now is that equal to getting married or more a pledge of loyalty, fidelity, and all that?

If not is this going to lead to a "state" recognized marriage?

It's somewhere between marriage and being engaged. Mostly, it depends on the particular background of the couple doing the ceremony.

A couple of my friends just did the same thing a few months back. They are going to do a 'legal' wedding ceremony at a ren faire next May. One would have to understand this particular couple's leanings to grasp why May is important. ^_^
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Inkpot · Post by **Inkpot** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:23 pm

Treebore wrote:
Its great to hear all the positive news.

Congrats on the hand fasting.

Now is that equal to getting married or more a pledge of loyalty, fidelity, and all that?

Honestly, people can do a handfasting however they like. Some are content to have the handfasting merely represent a pledge of loyalty, etc and could care less on whether or not the state "recognizes" the union. Others decide that they want it to be "official", and have an officiator who is licensed with the state perform the ceremony with all the trappings of a "legal" marriage. It's completely up to them.

Historically, handfastings are a sort of "trial" marriage that lasts for a year and a day. At the end of this period, the couple decides on whether or not they wish to make the union more permanent. But today, many handfastings go for the permanent arrangement immediately, and skip the "trial" phase altogether. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfasting

Ink
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Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:29 pm

I am aware of the historical handfasting, but I am also aware there are many "interpretations" of it practiced. So I was essentially asking what your version/interpretation is.

Plus i wanted to know if this was a step towards state recognized marriage for the two of you.

I am also aware many people have issues with a state recognized marriage and I was trying to see if you were one of them.

So those are my questions behind the questions. 8)

Inkpot · Post by **Inkpot** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:39 pm

Treebore wrote:
I am aware of the historical handfasting, but I am also aware there are many "interpretations" of it practiced. So I was essentially asking what your version/interpretation is.

Plus i wanted to know if this was a step towards state recognized marriage for the two of you.

I am also aware many people have issues with a state recognized marriage and I was trying to see if you were one of them.

So those are my questions behind the questions. 8)

Heheh...okay. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Yes, this is a step toward a "recognized" marriage for us. We both have leanings toward the neo-pagan end of things (though neither of us is a "practicing" anything), and so we'll most likely opt for the historical, "year-and-a-day" ceremony and then make it official at the end of that period (if she hasn't shot me by then, I mean). I honestly *do* have issues with the "state recognized" marriage, but it's one of those "what are you gonna do" kind of things.

Anyways, hope that clarifies things for you.
Ink
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Orpheus · Post by **Orpheus** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:58 pm

Well when you've done the year-and-a-day part (nothing wrong with that, no different than an engagement) go for the legal part. Any religious ceremony can be recognized by the state so it's not like you'd be having a "Soviet State Wedding"... comrade. The only reason that the state is even involved in recognizing marriage is for anything which may pertain to both the legal benefits and legal consequences of marriage (i.e. property; tax filing; inheritance). Congrats to you and my blessings to your girlfriend's parents.

Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:04 pm

Yep.

I also agree with not liking state recognized marriage. I would still be with my wife even without one.

However, that is the only way to give my wife all the legal protections marriage gives her, and myself, and our kids.

So rather than look at it as a "marriage" between my wife and I, I looked at it as filling out legal paperwork so my wife and I could have those legal protections and rights.

So in my mind/way of thinking, I was married to my wife the day I asked her to marry me and she said yes.

Everything else was just formalizing the legalities of it. So our anniversary should be celebrated on August 24th rather than in November.

The important thing is we are still together.

IT sounds to me like you guys know how to stick together through thick and thin, so I believe you two will be together until the end. You have a better shot at it then most, I think. Plus being happy all the while. Which is the best kind of marriage.

old school gamer · Post by **old school gamer** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:15 pm

Inkpot wrote:
Thanks for the great advice everyone. I'm calling my creditors after work today. I hope we're able to work something out. Looks like I'll be able to make my rent (barring any other unforseen disasters) at least. Fortunately, I don't have any credit cards (hate the damn things) to pay off - although a credit card would be soooooo tempting right now.

Anyway, I will keep you posted on how things develop. Why does this stuff always seem to happen around the holidays?

Ink

P.S. Steve, if you're still wanting Dragonrails' address, it is as follows:

Dragonrail

515 E. 1st Street

Port Angeles, WA 98362

I'm sure they'd be delighted to hear from the Trolls. Thanks again for all the vibes. Some days, they're all that get me out of bed in the morning. =)

Yeah, I hear ya about credit cards. I filed bankruptcy a few years ago to wipe out my debts and I have never applied for a credit card since then, despite all the stuff they sent in the mail. No usury for me. No way.

Orpheus · Post by **Orpheus** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:28 pm

Treebore wrote:
So our anniversary should be celebrated on August 24th rather than in November.

Shhh. Don't let her hear you say that or you'll have to buy TWO anniversary gifts a year.

Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:41 pm

Orpheus wrote:
Shhh. Don't let her hear you say that or you'll have to buy TWO anniversary gifts a year.

With the way she spends money the only thing I give her on our anniversary is a personally written letter (our equivelent of "State of the Union Address") and I cook her favorite/requested dinner.

Or, since it is also our daughters B-day, we go out to dinner and I act like it is for the both of them, but in my mind it is really for our daughter.

Since my wife so enjoys spending money she usually buys me something.

Catweazle · Post by **Catweazle** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:47 pm

Good news, Inkpot. Let's hope this a corner turned for you.
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moriarty777 · Post by **moriarty777** » Wed Jan 24, 2007 1:06 am

Good news and congrats on the handfasting! Many blessings on your union!

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dualj · Post by **dualj** » Wed Jan 24, 2007 3:14 am

I am so sorry to hear that. I hope my prayers are heard tonight.

Edit. wow, i should have read the update first. I am glad your peeps are healing and all that. I am also glad to know about your handfasting. good luck!

Tadhg · Post by **Tadhg** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 3:48 am

Inkpot wrote:
And that's about it. The clouds are breaking, and the sun is starting to peek through at last. Thank you SOOOO much, everyone, for your support and prayers during this dark time. In a very real sense, I don't think I could have made it through without you all. You guys are the best. Seriously.

Ink

Hey, glad to hear all this good new, Ink. And congrats on the "handfasting". I've never heard of this, but it sounds great.

My wife and I spent several years together, before marriage (yeah, I know it's not the same thing, but I'm reminded of some things). We were committed to each other and moved in together and after a couple of years, we got engaged, but didn't plan a wedding yet. We bought our first house and then eventually said, "Hey should we get married?". And we did, in our house.

Anywho, sorry for the rambling.

[Incidentally, I'm down in Florida now, visiting my folks, 'cause my Mom is battling cancer. In fact, I think I'll post a message]

Best regards,

Rhu.

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gideon_thorne · Post by **gideon_thorne** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 3:57 am

Rhuvein wrote:
And congrats on the "handfasting". I've never heard of this, but it sounds great.

Course you have. Any movie you have ever seen, where a couples hands are tied with a cord, is part of a handfasting ceremony. Its as old as recorded civilzation.
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Tadhg · Post by **Tadhg** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:02 am

gideon_thorne wrote:
Course you have. Any movie you have ever seen, where a couples hands are tied with a cord, is part of a handfasting ceremony. Its as old as recorded civilzation.

Really? Sheesh, I'm either dumb or not very observant sometimes.
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Lurker · Post by **Lurker** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:47 am

Congrats on all the good news.

I've a Friend that went down hard a year & half ago. He is to near 100%, just talks a bit slower & with a slight lisp. Hope the father-in-law-to-be does as well
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