Magic Items for Practical Jokers

[Go0gleplex]

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[Captain_K]

love them, I don't think any Gnome should leave home without at least one!

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[Captain_K]

Even better, you really need to do these with cartoons and submit them to Tree. They are great!

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[MadCartographer]

I had a good laugh, these are great.

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[Lurker]

....

Nice!

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[Captain_K]

I assume you must "pour" it in?? Or is there Viagra for this MI?

Cowardly Blade
This sword comes in many types, always in an ornately decorated and lacquered sheath with a gold lion-headed pommel. All in all it appears as a rather expensive piece of weaponry. Until it is drawn that is. Once drawn, the pommel screams in fright like a little girl locked in a room full of spiders and the silver blade goes absolutely limp like a wet noodle. The screaming will only stop once the blade is replaced in its scabbard.

[Go0gleplex]

I assume you must "pour" it in?? Or is there Viagra for this MI?

Cowardly Blade
This sword comes in many types, always in an ornately decorated and lacquered sheath with a gold lion-headed pommel. All in all it appears as a rather expensive piece of weaponry. Until it is drawn that is. Once drawn, the pommel screams in fright like a little girl locked in a room full of spiders and the silver blade goes absolutely limp like a wet noodle. The screaming will only stop once the blade is replaced in its scabbard.

Hold sword by hilt vertically, blade down so gravity does its thing and then just lower it into the scabbard. Easy peazy logic.

[Captain_K]

Try feeding a "wet noodle" sword into a tight fitting scabbard. My swords have a nice sharp tip, gets them started but at many points driving them in there is resistance and the scabbards are old wood, so swelling and warping.. if the blade was limp, you'd never get them back in their scabbard.. on damp days you got to push and for sure, that last few inches is always a tight fit by design.. so my experience says, a limp noodle blade will be a bitch to sheath which will continue to scream and continue to annoy you as you try to sheath it.. I see no end of fun with this.. don't make it easy! Again, GREAT items!

These totally beat seriously cursed items.. there should be two of these per cursed item in the world!

[Go0gleplex]

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[Captain_K]

The straw.. now there is a handy and ancient thing...from the wiki: The first known straws were made by the Sumerians, and were used for drinking beer, probably to avoid the solid byproducts of fermentation that sink to the bottom. The oldest drinking straw in existence, found in a Sumerian tomb dated 3,000 B.C.E., was a gold tube inlaid with the precious blue stone lapis lazuli.

Can you make a straw per the above that goes with a beer vessel.. you got to keep it Sumerian and linked to the god or goddess of beer..

I know you can rise to this occasion ;}

[Go0gleplex]

The straw.. now there is a handy and ancient thing...from the wiki: The first known straws were made by the Sumerians, and were used for drinking beer, probably to avoid the solid byproducts of fermentation that sink to the bottom. The oldest drinking straw in existence, found in a Sumerian tomb dated 3,000 B.C.E., was a gold tube inlaid with the precious blue stone lapis lazuli.

Can you make a straw per the above that goes with a beer vessel.. you got to keep it Sumerian and linked to the god or goddess of beer..

I know you can rise to this occasion ;}

The straw isn't the problem. It's coming up with an amusing prank that goes with it. Though I might have an idea....

[Go0gleplex]

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[Captain_K]

Well done good sir, well done. Love it.. PLEASE pick your favorites, type up and submit to Tree. PM me and I'll send you a word doc pre-formatted for Tree to make your worthy task easier.

[Go0gleplex]

Have at Cap. I just did these as a lark. Sort of thought others would pop up with stuff too but I guess I really am the resident lunatic.

[Captain_K]

If I was not in over my head with the Wellhead Tavern I'm writing for Tree, I'd be in here hip deep with you and picking the best of your works and submitting them to Tree. I'm asking you to please do this short task so that the next Domesday will feature your lunacy for time immemorial!

Hat of Warmth: This toque with ear flaps is magically warm in even the coldest of weather, unfortunately, it also gives the wearer the worst case of "hat hair" ever seen resulting in humor for all present once the toque is removed (-3 to CHA). The mussed up hair is a magical after affect equivalent to a curse and lasts 3d3 hours.

Do I have to say "Please" or promise you a beer when next we meet? Cap

[Go0gleplex]

Fine fine. Though FYI I don't and can't drink if I wanted to. I'll toss it on my to do list.

[Go0gleplex]

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[serleran]

Never-Fail Nail: A small iron spike used in various woodworking or metal crafts to bind pieces together through application of brute force at the end of a small hammer. At least, that's what it should be -- the truth is that, while it seems a regular fastener common to carpenters and handymen, it bears a malicious streak... anyone who attempts to strike the never-fail nail unerringly smashes their own thumb. The damage sustained is minimal but enormously painful -- any skill/ability requiring the use of the affected hand, including things such as pick pocketing, opening locks, or spell casting, is at a -2 penalty for 1d3+1 rounds. These devilish devices are found in batches from 1 to 30.

[Go0gleplex]

Never-Fail Nail: A small iron spike used in various woodworking or metal crafts to bind pieces together through application of brute force at the end of a small hammer. At least, that's what it should be -- the truth is that, while it seems a regular fastener common to carpenters and handymen, it bears a malicious streak... anyone who attempts to strike the never-fail nail unerringly smashes their own thumb. The damage sustained is minimal but enormously painful -- any skill/ability requiring the use of the affected hand, including things such as pick pocketing, opening locks, or spell casting, is at a -2 penalty for 1d3+1 rounds. These devilish devices are found in batches from 1 to 30.

ROFLMAO! Love this. So mean...but so dang appropriate.

[Go0gleplex]

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[Go0gleplex]

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