Hello fellow gamer/parents...
I have a problem with my middle child. Nathan is 8 and has a brother of 5 and a sister of 11. He's very funny, loves laughing but usually gets into trouble by doing silly things or not paying attention. About 3 years ago I decided to put him into soccer so he can socialize and get some exercise at the same time. As it turned out, soccer is a place to go play jokes and fool around. This attitude continues today but we find now that his fellow players are more interested in the game and less interested in the fooling around. So he quit yesterday. He no longer wants to play soccer and it's a bitter disappointment for me because we were hoping this would be a way to get him to somehow mature and grow. I don't look at him as a failure in soccer - not at all, I just wish soccer would have been a way to get him to focus and be more attentive. As it is he doesn't read, doesn't lkike school and now hates soccer. He isn't a bully type of trouble maker, just a bad jokester. I can see him going down a path full of disappointment if he doesn't find something to enjoy as a hobby and a way to socialize. His soccer buddies started to ignore him so I guess that led him to want to quit. I find he has low self esteem and that is extremely dangerous for such a young kid.
On my gaming days, he goes to bed early so I can relax and de-stress with my buddies. However, now I worry that he wants to be a part of the experience and because I don't let him in on our game he may find that I'm also ignoring him. He sees daddy playing with miniatures and maps (he loves building stuff and drawing streets for his cars) and wants to be a part of it. A part of me is thinking that he will hate it and start to get annoying to the others. After all, he isn't mature enough to play alongside adults. Another part of me says that he may actually develop a healthy attitude towards reading and get away from the TV and video games.
I was wondering if anyone has had any similar experiences with their kids? What do you do to play the game with them? Are there any downloads or other stuff made specifically for younger players? I do want to play the game with the kids but I don't know what to do. I've got enough trouble coming up with ideas for my regular adult group, and little time for that even! I find that coming up with a less violent yet satisfying game for a kid is even more difficult.
Any ideas or suggestions to make gaming a healthy and fun activity are much appreciated!
Gaming with your young kids
I have no experience in these matters - my kids are 3 & 2 right now.
But I was thinking this adventure, GL0 The Haunted Tower, might be a good way to test the waters for him. It could easily be converted from Classic D&D to C&C and it seems to be well suited for what you need: a solo adventure designed for a younger player.
But I was thinking this adventure, GL0 The Haunted Tower, might be a good way to test the waters for him. It could easily be converted from Classic D&D to C&C and it seems to be well suited for what you need: a solo adventure designed for a younger player.
I say, let him play a Jester, which I believe Colin Chapman created (if so, its in the file Colin Sez Volume I), found directly here.
This way, he can be the way he normally is, and you can, subtly, use the game to teach him that its not always wise to joke and play with people. Sort of using roleplaying/storytelling in an interactive psychological/moral way.
Of course, I dunno if it will work. I don't have any munchkins yet.
This way, he can be the way he normally is, and you can, subtly, use the game to teach him that its not always wise to joke and play with people. Sort of using roleplaying/storytelling in an interactive psychological/moral way.
Of course, I dunno if it will work. I don't have any munchkins yet.
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gideon_thorne
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Re: Gaming with your young kids
I dunno, mate. I was 7-8 years old when I started playing. Lots of people were. I hesitate to comment on the 'adult' aspects, but when OD&D and AD&D were a going concern there was much 'adult' art and situations in the game. Didn't affect me adversely.
Then again....maybe it did?
I should note, my parents bought all my first gaming stuff.
_________________
"We'll go out through the kitchen!" Tanis Half-Elven
Peter Bradley
Then again....maybe it did?
I should note, my parents bought all my first gaming stuff.
_________________
"We'll go out through the kitchen!" Tanis Half-Elven
Peter Bradley
"The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!' And I'll look down, and whisper 'No.' " ~Rorschach
meepo wrote:
I have no experience in these matters - my kids are 3 & 2 right now.
But I was thinking this adventure, GL0 The Haunted Tower, might be a good way to test the waters for him. It could easily be converted from Classic D&D to C&C and it seems to be well suited for what you need: a solo adventure designed for a younger player.
EXCELLENT!
Thank you very much for the link. This may be perfect.
serleran...
The jester may be a good character class once I get him introduced to the game. The idea of teaching him life lessons within a game setting is fantastic. THANKS serleran!
gideon_thorne...
You say you were 7 when you started, but I guess you were at that age a decent reader - correct? My son has trouble with basic words so that is one of the reason I hesitated getting him into D&D. I thought he may get frustrated with the words but I guess I don't really have to force him to read the C&C PHB - not yet! At least it's not the WOTC PHB!!!
Thanks guys - your comments are much appreciated!
The jester may be a good character class once I get him introduced to the game. The idea of teaching him life lessons within a game setting is fantastic. THANKS serleran!
gideon_thorne...
You say you were 7 when you started, but I guess you were at that age a decent reader - correct? My son has trouble with basic words so that is one of the reason I hesitated getting him into D&D. I thought he may get frustrated with the words but I guess I don't really have to force him to read the C&C PHB - not yet! At least it's not the WOTC PHB!!!
Thanks guys - your comments are much appreciated!
You betcha! I've had my eye on that one for years, eagerly awaiting the day I can involve my kids in my gaming.
At least this way you can involve him without potentially upsetting others, allowing him to learn at his own pace and decide if ti is something that might capture his attention long enough to join "the adult table"!
Best of luck, let us know how it works out!
At least this way you can involve him without potentially upsetting others, allowing him to learn at his own pace and decide if ti is something that might capture his attention long enough to join "the adult table"!
Best of luck, let us know how it works out!
-
gideon_thorne
- Maukling
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- Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:00 am
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Jynx wrote:
life lessons within a game setting is fantastic. THANKS serleran!
gideon_thorne...
You say you were 7 when you started, but I guess you were at that age a decent reader - correct? My son has trouble with basic words so that is one of the reason I hesitated getting him into D&D. I thought he may get frustrated with the words but I guess I don't really have to force him to read the C&C PHB - not yet! At least it's not the WOTC PHB!!!
Thanks guys - your comments are much appreciated!
It didn't seem so, but then again my teachers were always rather suprised at what I was reading. I was taught reading and words phonetically though. And I was told I was reading well beyond my age level.
I was never restricted in what I read, my parents were just glad I was reading.
But even then, at that age, the only things that were really important that I needed to know for the game were, which die to roll, and more or less what was going on. We were a bunch of kids playing, rules minutae were rather irrelevant. *smiles* More or less still is in my estimation.
_________________
"We'll go out through the kitchen!" Tanis Half-Elven
Peter Bradley
"The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!' And I'll look down, and whisper 'No.' " ~Rorschach
I kind of had problems that were similiar with my son who is now 10. C&C is actually been the most effective in helping him "turn around". He didn't like to read. I was trying to get him involved in 3E but he would only play his character and only knew the rules we told him.
Then C&C came along. He actually read the rules for his Knight and his code. Then he read the rules for the classes everyone else was playing. Then he read all 128 pages! Then he started reading the 3E PH for his sisters 3E game. Then he read the MM. Then he read the Warcraft PH and monster book. This has happened in the last 8 months. Plus he is now actively trying to do his own character sheets!
So there is hope, and this can be the "key". Give it a try and do it with just your kids. Its worth it and you'lll get to know them a whole lot better and they you. A darn good thing all around!
Then C&C came along. He actually read the rules for his Knight and his code. Then he read the rules for the classes everyone else was playing. Then he read all 128 pages! Then he started reading the 3E PH for his sisters 3E game. Then he read the MM. Then he read the Warcraft PH and monster book. This has happened in the last 8 months. Plus he is now actively trying to do his own character sheets!
So there is hope, and this can be the "key". Give it a try and do it with just your kids. Its worth it and you'lll get to know them a whole lot better and they you. A darn good thing all around!
Since its 20,000 I suggest "Captain Nemo" as his title. Beyond the obvious connection, he is one who sails on his own terms and ignores those he doesn't agree with...confident in his journey and goals.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
I think gaming is a great natural learning tool for kids, both socially and academically. When you run the game I'd suggest minimizing what's difficult for him (e.g. reading) at first. Then, if/when he loves the game, integrate more of it into the game. Hopefully, like with Treebore's experience, he'll simply be motivated on his own to read, etc.
Thanks for the adventure suggestion, Meepo. I've already been wondering how to get my daughter into the game someday (even though she's only 3 now).
Good luck.
_________________
The Gargoyle often makes his perch
On a cathedral or a church,
Where, mid ecclesiastic style,
He smiles an early-Gothic smile.
-Oliver Herford
Thanks for the adventure suggestion, Meepo. I've already been wondering how to get my daughter into the game someday (even though she's only 3 now).
Good luck.
_________________
The Gargoyle often makes his perch
On a cathedral or a church,
Where, mid ecclesiastic style,
He smiles an early-Gothic smile.
-Oliver Herford
I have children ages 18, 15, 10 and 8 and play C&C with them every week.
Generally, I CK for the kids group on Thursday and for the adult group of my wife and friends on Saturday. My 15 and 18 year old are permitted to play with the adults on the condition that they keep playing with their 2 younger sisters. My 15 year old likes to have his friend over to join when he plays so I allow it. The 10 and 8 year old want to join the adult group, but I tell them they've have to wait till they get a little older. That's not a problem since I have 2 friends who like gaming so much they show up for the kids game too.
As for what to run, if your child is that new to the game then he doesn't know any adventures so any module will do. An 8 year old doesn't need a special adventure designed just for kids. Believe me, they can handle the regular modules. At 6 my daughter went through B1-In Search of the unknown. My wife had major doubts at the time, but everything went smoothly proving that gaming doesn't shock a kid of that age. I knew it wouldn't because most of the cartoons they watch are equally if not more graphic. Just avoid being overly graphic in combat descriptions and nix any questionable content. Instead, make descriptions light humor-based and add more funny content.
If you're not content with running normal adventures, here's another option. When my kids were younger then 6, I ran fairy tales like "The Three Little Pigs" as adventures. If you run out of material you can always turn a disney movie into an adventure which gives you material and helps little kids since they know what outcome to strive for. For the younger ones who have trouble reading or writing, have the older brother or sister write down everything on their character and help them check their stats and items, etc. as necessary. That's what I did for my kids and the same system should work just as well for you.
Now here's the underlying issue that troubles some people the most though it logically shouldn't...
Family comes first even if the game with the adults may seem like more fun at times. Sure, kids spend time with their friends and the parent should have the same opportunity, but I don't let that make me forget who's who. It's my good fortune to have kids and the clock is always running. Before I know it, they'll move out on their own, possibly to another state, so my time to play dad is limited. If I don't do it now, I'm not only doing them wrong, I'll live to regret it years later when the tables are turned and they feel their friends are more important than spending time with dad. Thus, I try not to let the kids see less gaming time than my friends and if they do then I make it up to them within a week.
Now, it's true that some people feel otherwise, including my wife so I know what it's like to deal with nay-sayers. She normally only plays on Saturday though I try to coax her to join in a kids game once in a while. Aside from that, I tell all my other adult gamers that anyone who expects me to take gaming time away from my kids should go find another CK. If friends need their gaming fix, let them join in a kids game, but make sure they understand what's expected of them in terms of controlling their language, sharing play time so as to keep the focus on the kids having fun, and helping the kids learn to play and understand the game better. Those who don't like that solution don't come over on kids gaming night. Those who do soon discover why I like playing with my kids. They come up with the silliest stuff and make me laugh so long as I can keep them from arguing with each other. It's both fun and parenting at the same time.
Finally, no doubt, it can be mentally fatiguing preparing material for and running two groups per week. Some times I run more than that. For me, three games a week isn't all that uncommon. My advice is to sharpen your ad-lib CKing abilities and run the same dungeons each week for both your friends and kids so you prepare less dungeons over all.
That's the best advice I can offer. I sincerely hope things work out for you and your kids.
Brian Miller
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon...little boy blue and the man on the moon..."
_________________
"The adventure continues"
Generally, I CK for the kids group on Thursday and for the adult group of my wife and friends on Saturday. My 15 and 18 year old are permitted to play with the adults on the condition that they keep playing with their 2 younger sisters. My 15 year old likes to have his friend over to join when he plays so I allow it. The 10 and 8 year old want to join the adult group, but I tell them they've have to wait till they get a little older. That's not a problem since I have 2 friends who like gaming so much they show up for the kids game too.
As for what to run, if your child is that new to the game then he doesn't know any adventures so any module will do. An 8 year old doesn't need a special adventure designed just for kids. Believe me, they can handle the regular modules. At 6 my daughter went through B1-In Search of the unknown. My wife had major doubts at the time, but everything went smoothly proving that gaming doesn't shock a kid of that age. I knew it wouldn't because most of the cartoons they watch are equally if not more graphic. Just avoid being overly graphic in combat descriptions and nix any questionable content. Instead, make descriptions light humor-based and add more funny content.
If you're not content with running normal adventures, here's another option. When my kids were younger then 6, I ran fairy tales like "The Three Little Pigs" as adventures. If you run out of material you can always turn a disney movie into an adventure which gives you material and helps little kids since they know what outcome to strive for. For the younger ones who have trouble reading or writing, have the older brother or sister write down everything on their character and help them check their stats and items, etc. as necessary. That's what I did for my kids and the same system should work just as well for you.
Now here's the underlying issue that troubles some people the most though it logically shouldn't...
Family comes first even if the game with the adults may seem like more fun at times. Sure, kids spend time with their friends and the parent should have the same opportunity, but I don't let that make me forget who's who. It's my good fortune to have kids and the clock is always running. Before I know it, they'll move out on their own, possibly to another state, so my time to play dad is limited. If I don't do it now, I'm not only doing them wrong, I'll live to regret it years later when the tables are turned and they feel their friends are more important than spending time with dad. Thus, I try not to let the kids see less gaming time than my friends and if they do then I make it up to them within a week.
Now, it's true that some people feel otherwise, including my wife so I know what it's like to deal with nay-sayers. She normally only plays on Saturday though I try to coax her to join in a kids game once in a while. Aside from that, I tell all my other adult gamers that anyone who expects me to take gaming time away from my kids should go find another CK. If friends need their gaming fix, let them join in a kids game, but make sure they understand what's expected of them in terms of controlling their language, sharing play time so as to keep the focus on the kids having fun, and helping the kids learn to play and understand the game better. Those who don't like that solution don't come over on kids gaming night. Those who do soon discover why I like playing with my kids. They come up with the silliest stuff and make me laugh so long as I can keep them from arguing with each other. It's both fun and parenting at the same time.
Finally, no doubt, it can be mentally fatiguing preparing material for and running two groups per week. Some times I run more than that. For me, three games a week isn't all that uncommon. My advice is to sharpen your ad-lib CKing abilities and run the same dungeons each week for both your friends and kids so you prepare less dungeons over all.
That's the best advice I can offer. I sincerely hope things work out for you and your kids.
Brian Miller
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon...little boy blue and the man on the moon..."
_________________
"The adventure continues"
Promoting C&C at Gary Con and LGGC since 2005.
Wow, I think that's the most serious post I've ever read from you, miller6, but all very sound advice. Thanks for the insight, and the reminder that kids are kids for a very limited amount of time (even when there are days it doesn't feel that way!).
_________________
The Gargoyle often makes his perch
On a cathedral or a church,
Where, mid ecclesiastic style,
He smiles an early-Gothic smile.
-Oliver Herford
_________________
The Gargoyle often makes his perch
On a cathedral or a church,
Where, mid ecclesiastic style,
He smiles an early-Gothic smile.
-Oliver Herford
Brian,
I feel the same way you do. Even if I didn't live out here in the middle of no where, like when we lived in California, I spent just as much time, if not more, gaming with my kids than my adult group. You do get only one shot at playing parent and then they move out. I'm doing my best to do it right the one and only time I get to try to do it.
I also have the same "issue" with my wife. I actually get mad at her about it, sometimes, because this is one of those issues where you know your the one who is right. I don't want to wait for her to regret it and be able to say, "I told you!" I pretty much MAKE her game with us.
Then she has fun, laughs with us, and I know she is having a good time. Then later she complain to me about this or that "argument" the kids had during the game and how she didn't have fun because of it. I tell her baloney, she had fun, the kids argue less playing with us then they do with just each other, by a lot. She's just looking for reasons to not do it. I even tell her she is being stupid and but childish in how she tries to come up with reasons not to play.
Plus I don't know how many times she does the "my babies will be leaving the nest over the nect 4 to 8 years!! What am I going to do without my babies?!" I tel her make he most of it while she can and GAME with them, and whatever else. Then I get that look.
Women! Us men are the ones who aren't supposed to want to spend time with the kids.
I feel the same way you do. Even if I didn't live out here in the middle of no where, like when we lived in California, I spent just as much time, if not more, gaming with my kids than my adult group. You do get only one shot at playing parent and then they move out. I'm doing my best to do it right the one and only time I get to try to do it.
I also have the same "issue" with my wife. I actually get mad at her about it, sometimes, because this is one of those issues where you know your the one who is right. I don't want to wait for her to regret it and be able to say, "I told you!" I pretty much MAKE her game with us.
Then she has fun, laughs with us, and I know she is having a good time. Then later she complain to me about this or that "argument" the kids had during the game and how she didn't have fun because of it. I tell her baloney, she had fun, the kids argue less playing with us then they do with just each other, by a lot. She's just looking for reasons to not do it. I even tell her she is being stupid and but childish in how she tries to come up with reasons not to play.
Plus I don't know how many times she does the "my babies will be leaving the nest over the nect 4 to 8 years!! What am I going to do without my babies?!" I tel her make he most of it while she can and GAME with them, and whatever else. Then I get that look.
Women! Us men are the ones who aren't supposed to want to spend time with the kids.
Since its 20,000 I suggest "Captain Nemo" as his title. Beyond the obvious connection, he is one who sails on his own terms and ignores those he doesn't agree with...confident in his journey and goals.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Well... I did it!
I sat down with the boys, asked them what race they wanted after showing them pictures, and then gave a brief description of the classes.
Even at 5 years, Theo was surprisingly into it. He laughed and kinda shrugged half the time at the tought of actually role playing. There was a few times where Nathan (8 yrs) who played a rogue, had rolled 1s so he was stumbling around making lots of noise. His character even tripped and I tried to get Theo to talk in character to the rogue telling him to KEEP QUIET! It was hillarious to see their reactions. And then when the rats attacked them and they squashed them, well... boys being boys, they added in sound effects and laughed even more. Theo got bitten and went down to 0 HP. His dwarf passed out and he thought it was hillarious. Nathan had his rogue finish off the rats (squish, squash, splat) and then they exited the cave. We left it off there and the boys are now asking if "HUNTER & JONES" - the names they choose, were sleeping in the cave until tomorrow when we play again.
Honestly, the best part was seeing them slowly break out of the shyness and try to play the game. I ended up just putting their characters outside a cave where a big bad monster lives. Their objective is to go in and retrieve a necklace that was stolen from a local townsgirl. Simple and effective. If this works out and we get a regular game going with my daughter who is 11, perhaps even my brother, I'll start running actual adventures like the one mentioned above.
Looks like I've got yet another campaign on my hands!
I sat down with the boys, asked them what race they wanted after showing them pictures, and then gave a brief description of the classes.
Even at 5 years, Theo was surprisingly into it. He laughed and kinda shrugged half the time at the tought of actually role playing. There was a few times where Nathan (8 yrs) who played a rogue, had rolled 1s so he was stumbling around making lots of noise. His character even tripped and I tried to get Theo to talk in character to the rogue telling him to KEEP QUIET! It was hillarious to see their reactions. And then when the rats attacked them and they squashed them, well... boys being boys, they added in sound effects and laughed even more. Theo got bitten and went down to 0 HP. His dwarf passed out and he thought it was hillarious. Nathan had his rogue finish off the rats (squish, squash, splat) and then they exited the cave. We left it off there and the boys are now asking if "HUNTER & JONES" - the names they choose, were sleeping in the cave until tomorrow when we play again.
Honestly, the best part was seeing them slowly break out of the shyness and try to play the game. I ended up just putting their characters outside a cave where a big bad monster lives. Their objective is to go in and retrieve a necklace that was stolen from a local townsgirl. Simple and effective. If this works out and we get a regular game going with my daughter who is 11, perhaps even my brother, I'll start running actual adventures like the one mentioned above.
Looks like I've got yet another campaign on my hands!
Jynx wrote:
Well... I did it!
Looks like I've got yet another campaign on my hands!
Superb!
In days to come, they'll remember these times fondly and hopefully will grow up to do the same for their own kids.
And I must agree...single encounter or wandering adventures are a great way to start 'em off.
Brian Miller
_________________
"The adventure continues"
Promoting C&C at Gary Con and LGGC since 2005.
Pretty darn cool, isn't it Jynx.
Since its 20,000 I suggest "Captain Nemo" as his title. Beyond the obvious connection, he is one who sails on his own terms and ignores those he doesn't agree with...confident in his journey and goals.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Treebore wrote:
Pretty darn cool, isn't it Jynx.
Treebore, I'm with you all the way, my friend.
Your kids should give you a "Dad of the year" award.
...And the same goes for all those other CK dads and moms out there.
Brian Miller
"Um...but moms should get Mom of the year."
_________________
"The adventure continues"
Promoting C&C at Gary Con and LGGC since 2005.
They give me the award darn near every day. Hugs are great!
Since its 20,000 I suggest "Captain Nemo" as his title. Beyond the obvious connection, he is one who sails on his own terms and ignores those he doesn't agree with...confident in his journey and goals.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
Sounds obvious to me! -Gm Michael
Grand Knight Commander of the Society.
I ran my two daughters (yes, daughters!; ages 9 & 6) thru the Tower of Zenopus (Holmes Basic D&D blue book) a couple of weeks ago. They had alot of fun with it! They've been watching a show called Winx Club (or something like that) and the main characters have magic powers and all that. So, for them, it was the next step. I beefed up the characters a little to make sure they didn't get wiped out right away (not a good thing for the first time). They actually surprised me a couple of times with their thoughts and ideas. I had to assist a few times, but, generally, they did well! I'm thinking KOTB might be next! They seem to be up for it!
As for kids, I think sometimes we as parents try too hard and think to much as to what is right for them or what should be expected of them. They are kids. Let them be kids. Lord knows, things these days are bad enough, we don't need to push things! Just let them know that they are loved and that you care! Gaming I think is a perfect way to show that! Something you both can enjoy!
As for kids, I think sometimes we as parents try too hard and think to much as to what is right for them or what should be expected of them. They are kids. Let them be kids. Lord knows, things these days are bad enough, we don't need to push things! Just let them know that they are loved and that you care! Gaming I think is a perfect way to show that! Something you both can enjoy!
As a bonus to the gaing I get to do with them, I now tell them that if they don't clean their room and generally 'behave' that they will not get to play. They are so excited about the idea of role playing (not sure if it's because they are playing with dad or just that they are playing a game - probably both...) that they now take it seriouslyand make sure to clean the room before I get to angry. They even went to bed with no arguing last night.
BONUS!
BONUS!