Very sad news

cuchulainkevin · Post by **cuchulainkevin** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:06 pm

This morning I received the news that one of my students committed suicide last night.

I'm a bit of a wreck as I type this. Just so many emotions running through my head. Was there something I missed/ could I have done something more?

I just want a way to express my frustrations before I see my co-workers...I'm not a person who is comfortable in showing pain in public.

Soon I will be going in to work where we will be telephoning our students to let them know the news. I work in a school with emotionally disturbed kids and I have real fears about how some of them will take the news. Some of them are so fragile...

I know that there is a perception that ED kids are "bad" kids...but really most of them are so sweet and they have had so much hurt in there lives already...

I have to be strong and supportive to help others get through this...and right now all I want to do is lay down and cry.

She ( I can't say her name because she was minor) was a good kid, I mean a really neat and smart kid and all I can think about is that I failed her in some way.

I sorry to be such a bummer on such an important holiday for manyy people, but this is my release for now.

If you are a religious person, please send your prayers for my former student and her family so that they have the strength to cope with their grief.

Please pray for they rest of my kids so that they can get through their own grief without hurting themselves.

If you are not a religious person please send you well wishes and thoughts.

If you know of someone who is suffering through depression please take the time to let them know that you care for them and value their presence.

Please give me the strength to get through this day.

Bless you all and may you find comfort in the presence of your loved ones.

Kevin (Morty)
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slimykuotoan · Post by **slimykuotoan** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:13 pm

My thoughts are with you this day cuchulainkevin.
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Coleston the Cavalier · Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:24 pm

Hey Kevin,

I've had to deal with a few suicides in my time and they are never easy.

But there is one thing that, while not being "comforting," does help us deal with the reality of the situation.

Teenagers and adults who commit suicide almost never do so on the spur of the moment. And they are very seldom in their right minds when they do decide to take their life.

Suicide can be a lot like a hidden, slowly-growing, fatal disease. For example, cancer can be growing and thriving deep inside of us long before we have any indications that it is present. Maybe the first time anyone even knows something was wrong is when the person suddenly dies.

Suicide can be like that. Something very destructive and painful slowly begins to grow and thrive deep within a person, often without their even being aware of it. Eventually, they become so "ill," they don't even realize what they are doing - and neither does anyone else - until they suddenly take their own life.

You'll be in my prayers.
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dachda · Post by **dachda** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:25 pm

My heart goes out to you, your fellow teachers and the girl's family.
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GameOgre · Post by **GameOgre** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:29 pm

Hope you recieve the help you need today Kevin. This kind of thing really does require you to open up to someone and talk. Maybe share a hug or two and a few tears. Doing that will help you be strong for others and it sounds like those kids need it.

My prayers go out to you and those kids as well as to the girl that died and her familly.

God Bless.

John
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Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 4:25 pm

Yeah, a rough day, and a rough situation. I have a brother who has been suicidal for decades, and I fear one day he will get so down that he will go all the way. So even when you know, you can still only do so much to stop them. You do what you can by being there, and showing them there are plenty of good reasons to live. Thats the best thing we can do.

If it helps, I believe they have gone to the most loving, compassionate, and all knowing father in existence, and if anyone can make them happy it is him.
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Lord Dynel · Post by **Lord Dynel** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 5:50 pm

Sorry to hear that, hoss. It's never a good thing when someone takes their own life, especially one so young and one whose potential is not fully realized, yet. Such a sad thing, indeed. My condolences.
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Benoist · Post by **Benoist** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:09 pm

Wishing you and the kids the best, Kevin.
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serleran · Post by **serleran** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:10 pm

There are moments where the best thing is silence.

We are here, if you need. You are there for those who need you. Stay strong.
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dutch206 · Post by **dutch206** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:42 pm

It's kind of good that they have the holiday weekend to absorb this information. That way, they don't actually have to be in the area where they all last saw her while they are processing their grief. Such a tragedy. I will definitely be thinking about you this weekend.
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cuchulainkevin · Post by **cuchulainkevin** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:03 pm

Thank you everyone for the kind words and prayers.

I made it through the day, but I can't remember a day where I was so exhausted. Monday we will have an assembly to talk with the students about their classmates death. We will have grief conselors on hand to help any of the kids who need to talk over issues. It will be a rough day, their classmate was a kind and sweet girl who had made many friends among the students.

Now that I don't have to have my "game face" on, I'm going to allow myself to absorb my students passing. I'm planning on a trip to my local parrish tommorrow to have a tal with my priest. Luckily (in more way than just this) my girlfriend is a pyschologist who deals with grief counseling so I'll have opprontunites to talk with her as well.

It's not the 1st death I have had to deal with at my school. It's part of the reality of dealing with the high-risk students I have. I'll get through this as I have in the past. I can and will pray that this will be the last student I have to see buried.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers on this difficult day.

Peace be with you all,

Kevin (Morty)
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Pat Payne · Post by **Pat Payne** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:32 pm

My god... Arthur Miller once said that suicide always leaves more than one victim -- there is the one who takes their life, and everyone he or she leaves behind.

You're in my prayers, Kevin.

Relaxo · Post by **Relaxo** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:32 pm

Kevin,

I wish you all the best with that. It's no easy thing to deal with.

I'm sorry.

Rigon · Post by **Rigon** » Sat Apr 11, 2009 1:42 am

You and your kids have my best wishes and heart-felt prayers.

R-
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Aladar · Post by **Aladar** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:01 pm

Our prayers go out to you, your fellow teachers, and the girl's family and friends.
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Sundog · Post by **Sundog** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:17 pm

As usual in such situations, there are few words that can rise above sounding banal and trite, so I won't attempt them.

Suffice to say that such an act of violence leaves many victims behind, and you feel the need to help them all. Just don't forget to bind up your own wounds, as well.

Grendel T. Troll · Post by **Grendel T. Troll** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:20 pm

My thoughts go with you. Bury the dead and take care of the survivors (remember: you're one of them!)...
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Lurker · Post by **Lurker** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:47 am

My prayers go out to you and the family of your student.

I understand the pain your going through, my unit over the last 2 years has had one officer commit suicide, one NCO attempt it, and at least 4 guys that have had us all worried.

It is a very scary thing and depression can hit anyone, trouble youth, "normal adults" and even combat vets.

Again my prayers to you and your students
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magehammer · Post by **magehammer** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:09 pm

I have had two students commit suicide in my career. One after he had gone to college and one when she was a junior.

It is by far one of the most difficult things about being a teacher.

There is not much more to say as we all mourn in our own way. Deaths like those never make sense.

There are always those inevitable questions: Was there something I could have done? Why didn't they confide in me to get some help? Don't go down that route, because what happened was not your fault. It is just a true tragedy.

Another way I cope is that I think about them when they were alive and remember that for a short time they did bring a bit of life and light to my life and the lives of those around them. Focus on the light not the darkness.

My prayers are with you.
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cuchulainkevin · Post by **cuchulainkevin** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:53 pm

Thank you again for the thoughts and well-wishes.

The funeral for my student was yesterday. I was very happy that so many of the students were able to attend and show their grief in an appropriate way.

I'm a little drained right now, but again, thanks for the support

Peace,

Kevin
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Very sad news

Very sad news

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