Baggage at the Table?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:34 am

I have been gaming for a long time and in that time I have been witness to and guilty myself, of some bizarre human behavior and interaction.

I have seen overall good folks ruin a game due to personal issues.

Be it just a mood...bad day at work...fight with the spouse...don't get along with player b...flunked an exam...or maybe just feeling like spreading misery and discontent for whatever reason.

It can effect the game and thus everyone's good time.
I'm not talking about an overall jerk in general...we all know some of those.

I am talking about folks that are usually fun to game with but for whatever issues they may have, the fun gets spoiled.

I am interested in your experience and any tactics you may have come up with when faced with disruptive behavior.
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nightstorm · Post by **nightstorm** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 5:32 am

Scene 1- early 90's Temple of Elemental evil

He: Fat British guy with no life.(plays paladin)

Her: Firery red head that takes shit from no one. (plays rogue)

Me:Chubby gay guy that's friend with firery red head (plays cn tiefling rogue/wiard)

He: Makes himself group leader though no one at table remembers making him one. Starts odering us around

"Azazel (me) go into the middle of the room to set off the trap. Don't worry I'll heal you"

Me: Well since you're the lawful good paladin leader why dont you go into the middle of the room and let the cleric heal you?"

Many hours later, after ordering Red Head around ,

Red Head "I'm getting tired of your shit! Stop ordering me around!"

Fast foward , they stand up in each others faces shouting at each other, taking it to the back room where they argue for an hour. At one point he runs out and she tells everyone he told her he was going to kill her. At this point I start picking up my stuff and leave before the cops come.
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DeadReborn · Post by **DeadReborn** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:26 pm

Wow. Just, wow. I've read threads about some heated arguments, but that's the first that involved the threat of murder.
I've always been lucky in that the people I've gamed with have been civil enough to discuss disagreements in an adult manner.
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slimykuotoan · Post by **slimykuotoan** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:20 pm

Hmm, we'll I had a bodybuilding player freak out after his character died, punch his refrigerator -putting a huge dent into it- then storm around his apartment.

I remember turning to the DM of the Birthright campaign at the time, as this guy stomped berzerk into the next room, and stating, "You realize we're going to have to smuggle you out through the window now right?"
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Go0gleplex · Post by **Go0gleplex** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 5:49 pm

Basically, we had five rules I held to when running games.

Don't show up drunk or with booze.

Don't show up stoned or you're gone. period.

Keep a C average in school or you're out til the grades come up.

Treat everyone with the respect you want or you'll be asked to leave for the evening.

This is a game! If you start wigging out about it or get mental, you're gone.

Surprisingly, I had only one player in all the years that violate these rules, and that was number five. Guy ended up in the hospital later I found out...his parents committed him for help with other issues.

Otherwise, they seemed to work quite well.
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Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 7:04 pm

We usually follow some common sense guidelines that are like this:

1. School comes fist, no exceptions.

2. If the CK is having a bad day we don't run. ( This may sound trivial but there are reasons for this)

3. Fun is good but disruptive behavior is grounds for removal.

4. Rules issues can usually wait until after session.

5. Cells on Vibrate.

6. Smoke breaks will be given as needed.
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cinderblock · Post by **cinderblock** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 12:31 am

Wow no drinking. Glad I don't play with you.
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Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 12:54 am

If I may speak for Goog, there are reasons we don't have drinking at our games. I'll just leave it at that.
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double-c · Post by **double-c** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 1:26 am

Oh man, I started drinking mid-game once. I made an ass of myself that night. I also had enough sense to apologies to the group the next session.

=(

Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 1:28 am

I had the "No drinking" rule at my house for several reasons, and the "Smoke outside only". 3 of the reasons being my 3 young kids. I can think of plenty of other reasons too, such as one of the gamers being a "recovering alcoholic", which I also had at my table for several years.
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Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 1:38 am

I smoke but it is strictly outside as my wife has asthma and I have two young kids at home. I have no problem with stepping out to light up when I need to. Sometimes you need the break.
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Go0gleplex · Post by **Go0gleplex** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 2:05 am

Julian is right. There are reasons for not having drinking at my games. A large one being most of the people I used to play with were underage. Another reason was, as noted, I didn't need people getting blitzed...my grandfather was an alcoholic and I have a fair idea of how "personalities" deteriorate under the influence. And I have a very short fuse with self-created idiots, particularly when it affects those around them to little constructive purpose.

I personally do not care if folks drink...that's their choice. That that choice impacts others, usually negatively, is where I draw a line at in my personal life.

That's all I'll say in response.
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Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 2:30 am

I'll just say alcohol and I do not mix. No one ever wants to see me drink.
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ThrorII · Post by **ThrorII** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:00 pm

Go0gleplex wrote:
Don't show up drunk or with booze.

I wouldn't last long in your game. I thoroughly enjoy my 2 Newcastle's every 3-5 hour session. I need to 'loosen up' when I play. Much like going out with the wife dancing, I need a little liquid aid. I keep it at 2, however, since at 3 I can tend to loose focus a little.

I will admit, I think I'm the only one (perhaps one other) of our group of 6 who drinks at the table.

slimykuotoan · Post by **slimykuotoan** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:22 pm

Yeah, in my experience, alcohol just destroys a game.
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cinderblock · Post by **cinderblock** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:11 pm

We shall agree to disagree then. My experience with alchohol and gaming has been signifigantly different. Not trying to slight your reasoning and after reading my above post it was perhaps a bit snarky when I only meant it in jest. What ever makes your table run smoother for you so be it. Game on.
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slimykuotoan · Post by **slimykuotoan** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:43 pm

Yeah, same here. Whatever works, works.

I'm just speaking more from my own experience: whenever I had gamers drinking, everything would turn to mush as the night wore on.
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Treebore · Post by **Treebore** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:03 pm

ThrorII wrote:
I wouldn't last long in your game. I thoroughly enjoy my 2 Newcastle's every 3-5 hour session. I need to 'loosen up' when I play. Much like going out with the wife dancing, I need a little liquid aid. I keep it at 2, however, since at 3 I can tend to loose focus a little.

I will admit, I think I'm the only one (perhaps one other) of our group of 6 who drinks at the table.

I would be fine if people actually limited themselves like you do, however my experience was with people who didn't stop at being just relaxed, so rather than find out the hard way, especially after I had kids and we gamed at my house, I just forbid it period, or a couple of times we celebrated birthdays, I supplied the booze, with everyone agreeing I decided when to cut them off.

With my last group I had in Charleston, SC, I was able to relax about it after a couple of years gaming together, and they would bring 3 or 4 beers and make them last. Since we typically gamed for 7 to 9 hours, they were fine.

But as a rule of thumb, no drinking until I find out how well you control it. Once I find out your good with only a few beers, I would be fine with it. I am all for drinking in moderation. Unless, of course, I find out I have a recovering alcoholic at the table. Then its no alcohol, and I even hide what I have in the house, because I allowed free access to my fridge and cupboards, so I actually got into the habit of putting my alcohol up in my bedroom at that time.

I am glad to say that as far as I know he never fell of his wagon while I knew him, and I hope he is still going well.
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Go0gleplex · Post by **Go0gleplex** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:24 pm

I didn't take it as snarky Cinder. I realize I'm a bit of a "stick in the mud" about certain things. Folks treat it differently...that's just how I do. *shrug*
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Joe · Post by **Joe** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 1:13 am

I think drunkenness destroys a game not having a drink, per se. As ThrorII noted before, responsible drinking in an adult atmosphere is ok.

Too bad so few people know what that really means.
Thror is one of the few I know that is capable of responsible drinking. Yet even he sets his limit.

I just prefer not to fuzz my brain while gaming especially when running a game.

I'm the type that likes to make an ass of myself with booze only to apologize the next day.
Besides, I have underage teen players mixed with adults at many of my games. I have met players parents and had them in my home as they sized me up as "appropriate" influence on their child or not. When someone cares enough to check on who their kid hangs out with, I care enough to try to provide an appropriate and safe environment for them.

I do prefer to err on the side of caution in those situations and expect my players to do the same.
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anonymous · Post by **anonymous** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:55 pm

Rarely have I seen people drinking at the gaming table; I suspect partly because when the people I usually gamed with started playing, we were all about 14 or 15 and were just too young. We never got into the habit of associating booze with gaming, even though many of us were otherwise quite heavy drinkers. For a while I was part of a group that played in a rented room above a bar, so it would have almost been impolite not to have had a shot or whiskey or something beforehand, but otherwise, rpgs are often quite intellectually demanding, and you wouldn't turn up to a chess tournament drunk...

Aneoth of Ironwood · Post by **Aneoth of Ironwood** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 1:21 pm

In my younger days, I was a big drinker too (not an alcoholic, just more of a social drinker and all around party hound) and the guys I played RPGs with also did so, and we never had trouble from that either.

These days I play RPGs more often with my grandkids than with other adults and I NEVER drink around them, nor would I intentionally put any of them in a situation where drinking could be a possible problem. PERIOD.....

I just do not see ANY upside in doing that.

And yet unless it got out of hand (And it would only take ONCE) I would have no trouble DMing a game where other adults (no kids) did drink alcohol as long as no one went overboard with it.

I have played RPGs in 4 seperate decades now and I have NEVER witnessed a scene where I thought someone had had too much and that person got out of hand from drinking.

(Not saying I have never witnessed drunk people, just not at the gaming tables so much)

Yes, there would be the obvious exceptions for recovering alcoholics, current alcoholics, etc.

Julian Grimm · Post by **Julian Grimm** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 4:58 pm

Drinking was never an issue. I used to drink and so did many of my groups but, we never did so at the game. Smoking on the other hand was a different story in the past. Many of us did and did so at the table, you usually could see us with cigars and the occasional pipe. Now it is a different issue with kids and such as well add in the near draconian take on smoking and you have many tables that decline to allow it. Seems like people would rather have a bunch of drunks playing that someone who wants some tobacco.
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anglefish · Post by **anglefish** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:34 pm

Ugh!

Every time I read this thread I remember a website where a guy goes on about his totally dysfunctional game.

Players who play ninjas in every game and call upon Hastur three times when it looks like he's going to get caught and why the writer will never drink warm Mountain Dew ever again.

Does this ring a bell with anyone?

Go0gleplex · Post by **Go0gleplex** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 6:15 pm

Nope. but I could tell you about a game where snorks were slain next to a lemonade stream by gummy werebears.
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serleran · Post by **serleran** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 8:30 pm

Once, there was a game. A player received a level, another did not. The one who did not proceeded to pound the table and break the rulebook. Sheer childish idiocy is not to be tolerated. Drink, sure, get drunk... OK, but when you act like a baby and cry because things don't go your way, then you can leave and not return. Beyond that, I don't really care what people do to ruin themselves.
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Wulfgarn · Post by **Wulfgarn** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:04 pm

It is amazing how lives can become emeshed in gamming- I mean we gather once a week and in some ways pour out a little of our souls to those around us.

My troubles always centered on cross talk and chatter...

Ace of Swords · Post by **Ace of Swords** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:59 pm

Al Bruno's binder of shame is the site.. his stories of bad gaming make me feel my worst experiances were good....
http://albruno3.tripod.com/

Kaiser_Kris · Post by **Kaiser_Kris** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:52 pm

ThrorII wrote:
I wouldn't last long in your game. I thoroughly enjoy my 2 Newcastle's every 3-5 hour session. I need to 'loosen up' when I play. Much like going out with the wife dancing, I need a little liquid aid. I keep it at 2, however, since at 3 I can tend to loose focus a little.

I will admit, I think I'm the only one (perhaps one other) of our group of 6 who drinks at the table.

Another Newcastle fan!

It's interesting to hear that so many people ban or just never drink during game, but it makes sense since it seems that people tend to start gaming in their teens, when they're underage (and for Americans, that's until 21). I only started gaming in earnest about a year ago, so we were all adults. Also, we run a pretty informal game because it's literally me, the DM and four of my best friends, who I've known for between six and ten years. We almost always have a few drinks at the gaming table, either beer (and most typically Newcastle), or my friend will crack open a bottle of his father's homemade wine.

I think, though, that if I were gaming with strangers (or simply casual acquaintences), rather than my best friends, I'd probably feel more comfortable with keeping alcohol seperate from the gaming table. And of course, if underage/recovering alcoholics are at the table, that's an entirely different issue.

anglefish · Post by **anglefish** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 1:57 am

Ace of Swords wrote:
Al Bruno's binder of shame is the site.. his stories of bad gaming make me feel my worst experiances were good....
http://albruno3.tripod.com/

Yes!

That was driving me crazy! Good stuff! A must read for those who have endured a recent case of "baggage at the table."